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Friday, May 6, 2011

life in a vacuum

i remember the day my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer.
my world was crashing around me, and as i looked around, everyone else's life was going on as if nothing happened. how can you be laughing… don't you realize my mom is dying??
i got the call when i returned home from church that sunday morning after thanksgiving. dad is gone.
what??
i remember that long drive home… the world around me functioning perfectly while i was a jumble of thoughts and concerns.
i feel the same way now. and i'm not even in the tornado zone.
but my daughter is.
and i see life around me… oblivious to the hurt and suffering in tuscaloosa {and other parts of AL, MS, TN, GA, and VA}.
i'm sure there's a lesson here, although i'm too thick to fully understand.
life does go on.
you can choose to sit in your junk and despair, or you can get up, thank God for your blessings and move on.
i'm thankful we're going to have an opportunity to help there. i think this will give me the chance to move forward. because right now my heart is stuck. i'm thankful for the outpouring of help there. God is so good. and His people are so resourceful.
God is good. all the time. He is so very good.
we just want to dig in and be His hands and feet.

this is me. watching life go on… and wondering how i fit in to all of that.
thank you, that is all.

3 comments:

  1. I remember thinking when my mom died, the best thing about life is that it goes on and the worst things is it goes one when you just want it to stop.

    We get through the tough stuff and make it part of us. And, through God we get perspective. He uses such things to make us recognize all we do have, and then when we're hit hard, we know we'll recover even though it means we'll never be the same, HE will be the same.

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  2. I like what Ellen wrote too, and a friend once reminded me that 'we live in a fallen world.'

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