Thursday, December 31, 2009
one eye backwards…the other forward
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
remembering…
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
swirly brain activity
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
remembering at christmas
i didn't pen this, but received it today, and it really struck a cord with me. in a land that seems to be crazy to make lasting changes to the nature of our government without the transparency that they promised and with a race to an unnecessary finish line, i realize that my freedoms are NOT just a given. they came at a great price. it's become rather comfortable here on the couch.—easier to stick a hand out and wait for someone to fill it than it is to just get up and make it happen ourselves. have we lost sight of what it means to be a patriot?
perhaps more than what i should be saying here… this isn't a political blog. but when i read this, it made me ponder my freedom and all that comes with that. i have a responsibility to be a good citizen, and to teach my children, as well. so while i continue to ponder my freedom and what that means to me, i'll share the poem i received today:
The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.
My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.
The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know,
Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.
My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.
A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.
"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"
For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said "It's really all right,
I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."
"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my father’s before me.
My Gramps died at ' Pearl on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of ' Nam ',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.
Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue... an American flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."
"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."
"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."
Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."
On this Christmas and every day, I remember. Thank you for everything you do on my behalf, on the behalf of my family, my country and the world… so we can be free.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
refreshment
charity: ball 2009 from Michael Trainer on Vimeo.
Monday, December 14, 2009
happy birthday to me…
Monday, December 7, 2009
kneady
Friday, December 4, 2009
waiting and watching
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
don't be a cotton-headed ninnymuggin!!
2. Tell me about one of your special traditions. Growing up we were a "Christmas Eve" family, meaning that we opened all of our gifts on Christmas Eve, and then traveled to my aunt and uncle's house on Christmas day. When i began spending Christmas with the hubster's side of the family (because of retail we never travel over the holidays) they were all pretty militant about Christmas Day. and don't even ASK to open just one. ain't gonna happen.
3. When do you put up your Tree?
4. Are you a Black Friday shopper?
5. Do you travel at Christmas or stay home?
6. What is your funniest Christmas memory?
7. What is your favorite Christmas movie of all time?
8. Do you do your own Christmas baking, what’s your favorite treat?
9. Fake or Real Tree?
10. What day (as a mom) does the actual panic set in to get it all done?
11. Are you still wrapping presents on Christmas Eve?
12. What is your favorite family fun time at Christmas?
13. What Christmas craft do you like the best?
14. Christmas music?
15. When do you plan to finish all of your shopping?
Monday, November 30, 2009
anybody home (home home home home)?
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
blessed
Monday, November 23, 2009
i am alive… barely
Saturday, November 14, 2009
hand in hand
i have a lot to do today. i had a lot to do yesterday, and i even managed to get most of it done. it wasn't easy, though. and i was up at 4 am so technically, i should have been able to get everything done, my house cleaned and meals for the next two weeks made and in the freezer.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
journeys…it's a continuing story
Friday, November 6, 2009
the journey continues…
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
journeys. part three. for real.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
journeys. take two.
Monday, November 2, 2009
journeys. part one.
Friday, October 30, 2009
my story, His story, HISTORY
Monday, October 26, 2009
new day; a day of thanksgiving
thankful in the face of a young man's suicide. . .
and then i remembered Job. how he lost everything. his family, his fortune, his shelter. and as he sat at the curb, scraping his boils (i mean could the guy not get a break??) he falls to the ground in worship, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return; the Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord."
he worshipped.
and he blessed the name of the Lord.
being thankful doesn't always mean rattling off a list of blessings.
sometimes it just means being thankful that God said he would never leave or forsake us.
wow, i am certainly thankful that He is my rock.
and He is theirs. the suicide family knows Jesus (as did the young man) and is relying on his great provision of strength as i write this.
Take the old prophets as your mentors. They put up with anything, went through everything, and never once quit, all the time honoring God. What a gift life is to those who stay the course! You've heard, of course, of Job's staying power, and you know how God brought it all together for him at the end. That's because God cares, cares right down to the last detail. (james 5:10-11, the message) patient respect and trust in God even in the midst of our sufferings.
wait on the Lord; be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart. wait i say, on the Lord. (Ps 27:14)
patience.
waiting.
not exactly my strong suit.
i'll say too, that after going to this young man's funeral and hearing about all he has done in his 21 years that honors Christ, how he thought of others first and had a kind word for everyone. . . it made me think that if this kid could succumb to suicide, perhaps we're all vulnerable.
it caused me to remind my children that suffering requires being able to stand on that bedrock of Christ. and to be able to recognize the voice of the deceiver. be vigilent. the enemy is looking for a foothold. recognize his lies. and cloak yourself with the one who is victorious.
love well. and stay close to Him who loves you most.
and to my friends, those of you who offered up prayers and words of encouragement. . .
how incredibly blessed i am to have sweet, loving friends who love and encourage well. what a wellspring of generousity that bubbled up from my last post. you all are treasures and i am incredibly thankful for the blessings you have brought to my life. thank you, Jesus for my i-friends. treasures, i tell you!
Friday, October 23, 2009
heavy heart
i was really hoping to come back and post some scrumdilliumptious photos of our new store that opened up on monday (i will do that, i promise) and i had a really promising meeting for the new business that is percolating with my partners. the rain has (somewhat) stopped, i think i lost 2 pounds, and i won a ridiculously amazing giveaway at mckmama. i mean could life get any better?
really.
but then the unthinkable.
i got word that a friend found her son this week. hanging in his bedroom.
my little mind is reeling trying to think how tragic it would be to have that little video replaying in my mind for the rest of my life.
and it makes me want to gather my little chicks close to me and remind them how much i love them and that no matter what the problem is that we can work together and get through it.
both of my offspring are enmeshed in their first relationships. ever. and i hope that they won't have to have the kind of heartache my friend's son must have experienced to take his own life.
he knew Jesus (thank you, Lord), and he had a great relationship with his parents. but he let the enemy's whispers drown out rational thought.
a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
oh how this mother's heart grieves with my friend and her husband.
how this mother's heart aches for the young people affected. the brothers. the girlfriend who had just broken up with him. her friends. his friends. her parents. grandparents. the fallout from suicide is like a nuclear blast. the radiation stays in the soil. stays. in. the. soil.
this is where i have to really dig deep. and try to wrap my small mind around what to do.
“give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” 1 Thessalonians 5:18
give thanks.
in all circumstances.
this is God's will.
He is already at work in this situation. thank you, Jesus.
the young man was a believer. thank you Jesus.
the parents are strong believers and have a vast network of believers supporting them. thank you Jesus!!
my children are healthy and loved. thank you thank you Jesus.
and the students left standing are noticing Him. thank you, Jesus.
give thanks.
in all circumstances.
this is God's will.
not that children commit suicide.
but that He is our comfort. our rock. our redeemer. our shelter in the storm.
that we recognize His provisions. that we still trust Him.
i have to ponder this in my very heavy heart.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
raining and growing.
Monday, October 12, 2009
nope, that couldn't be me!
it's hit or miss around here as far as hooking up with my favorite blogger, mckmama, and deciding whether or not i have any viable fodder for her not me monday blog carnival. i've got some stuff that i would never admit to doing, as i'm sure you don't as well… you can head over there and link up with all the others avoiding true confessions…
i would never take a work break only to write a blog post. i mean if my boss could see me now, he would more than likely have a problem with that. even though i sleep with my boss on a very regular basis (relax, i work for the hubster), it gets me nowhere. in fact, it probably gets me more accountability than i'm really interested in. but i digress…
the kiddies were in town this weekend for fall break. i would never count the minutes until bama girl arrived. that would be weird, and for a woman buried under a mountain of work, a rather lame use of my time! i didn't drop everything when she arrived and didn't spend more time than i should have looking at all her new tshirts from her sorority and patiently wait for her stories. it seems like long talks with her have been more rare in the last year, so i didn't just drop everything like a hot potato to just be with her.
we also didn't make plans for a family dinner for 9:30 on friday nite. i mean who eats that late? and who has to make a date with their own children two weeks in advance?? and our plans weren't ambushed at all by the six guests that arrived, slightly rain-soaked from the high school football game that was cancelled because of lightning, and ended up staying for dinner. we didn't rush to the freezer to grab more stuff to grill and didn't throw the rest of the bag of potaotes in the oven… that would mean the $200 i spent on groceries (for three people in our household) was not ridiculous. the stocking up didn't turn out to be a pretty wise investment at all and we avoided a quick trip to the krogers!
we didn't end up laughing and talking and enjoying the fellowship of our kids' friends in the least and weren't the least bit sorry that our quiet evening with the family ended up a rowdy night of remember whens and unbridled laughter. i didn't catch the hubster stealing a wink to me to say how much he had missed these important beings in our lives, and i didn't tear up once!! and i didn't dab my napkin at my eyes instead of the corner of my mouth one time…
i did not grumble in the least when my kids made me put my camera away. and they did not give me the "we don't want to be the next photo on your blog." sigh. so busted.
we didn't have a great weekend in the rain with our kids.
and it didn't make me at all want to start an advent calendar for thanksgiving, the next time we'll all be together again.