remembering…

i didn't fully appreciate my birthday until i birthed children of my own. after that, i called my mom each year on my birthday to tell her thanks. giving birth to me probably wasn't as bad as my children's births because she did the knock-out-wake-you-when-it's-over kind. and mine? well let's just say i still have the heel mark on my forehead from where the doctor needed a bit more leverage to get my first one out. both were natural. sans drugs. and if it wasn't for pitocin with my second, i pretty much could guarantee that i'd probably still be pregnant.

today's my mom's birthday.

i would love to call her, but this is the 10th birthday she's celebrating with Jesus.

and i still miss her, but certainly nothing like before.

i remember when she was sick and she looked at me and said, "don't forget me…"

pretty much ripped my heart out.

and as i was thinking about her today, wondering what she would be like on her 84th birthday, i caught my breath for just a second. there are days that go by when i don't think of her at all.

there are alot of days like that.

i'm not forgetting. really, i'm not.

i'm just choosing to press on, move forward, live life.

she taught me so many amazing things. like how to laugh. how to love. how to be a mother.

and a million other things that make me who i am…

i miss you "hot lips" (my mom was pretty spicy in high school, but in a great, red-lipstick-1940s kinda way), babs (her initials were b.a.b.), never betsy, mom, betty-bop (what my kids called her).

gone, but not forgotten…

like i could ever forget someone like her…

happy birthday, mom.