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Wednesday, December 30, 2009

remembering…

i didn't fully appreciate my birthday until i birthed children of my own. after that, i called my mom each year on my birthday to tell her thanks. giving birth to me probably wasn't as bad as my children's births because she did the knock-out-wake-you-when-it's-over kind. and mine? well let's just say i still have the heel mark on my forehead from where the doctor needed a bit more leverage to get my first one out. both were natural. sans drugs. and if it wasn't for pitocin with my second, i pretty much could guarantee that i'd probably still be pregnant.

today's my mom's birthday.

i would love to call her, but this is the 10th birthday she's celebrating with Jesus.

and i still miss her, but certainly nothing like before.

i remember when she was sick and she looked at me and said, "don't forget me…"

pretty much ripped my heart out.

and as i was thinking about her today, wondering what she would be like on her 84th birthday, i caught my breath for just a second. there are days that go by when i don't think of her at all.
there are alot of days like that.

i'm not forgetting. really, i'm not.

i'm just choosing to press on, move forward, live life.

she taught me so many amazing things. like how to laugh. how to love. how to be a mother.
and a million other things that make me who i am…

i miss you "hot lips" (my mom was pretty spicy in high school, but in a great, red-lipstick-1940s kinda way), babs (her initials were b.a.b.), never betsy, mom, betty-bop (what my kids called her).
gone, but not forgotten…

like i could ever forget someone like her…

happy birthday, mom.

6 comments:

  1. Love to you! I know you are missing your wonderful mom.

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  2. I dread the day I have to face this reality.

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  3. happy birthday to your sweet mother!!! :)

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  4. "Losing" a parent makes one join a club no one ever wants to join...But we are a compassionate group, not eager for our friends to sign on too.

    I believe I think of my mom every day. She died 18 years ago, I was only 31; she was only 59. There are probably days when I don't think of her, but it doesn't seem like I make it through many of those.

    I think of her as my friends' moms die. So thinking of your nifty mom makes me think of mine, miss mine.

    What a place they have to wait for us though, right?

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  5. What a beautiful post. Happy Birthday to your mom. I'm sure she know you'd never forget her :)

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