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Monday, May 9, 2011

mothered {thank goodness} to death

i was the fourth child born to parents in their late 30s. my older brother wasn't even living at home anymore. he was 18 and out on his own. my sister was almost 10 when i was born; my other brother almost four. to say i was the baby of the family is an understatement.
when i was about six months old, my mom had her third back surgery, and was out of commission for months. my aunt took care of me for several weeks while my dad got mom out of the hospital and situated at home. my aunt and uncle delivered me back home to a very relieved mom, but she cried as i screamed watching "my mom" back out of the driveway, leaving me with what i thought was a stranger.
she's now in her 80s and suffers from alzheimers, but she's still a delight and remembers us. i'm so glad i visited her with my sibs last summer.
my sister really stepped up to the plate to help. since my mom was laid up for a significant period of time, she really cared for my needs. she diapered, bathed, and fed me like a champ, and the bond between us sisters cemented for life. despite the age difference, my sister debbie and i remain incredibly close. she was a second mother to me, never made me feel like an annoying little sister and we even shared a room. imagine being a senior in high school and having to share a room {and bed} with a second grader? yep… she's a saint.
my mom with my cousin, sherry
my mom was your typical stay at home mom. she was queen of the castle and kept an impeccably clean home. dinner on the table at six. homemade christmas cookies by the boatload. after school snacks awaiting us as we arrived home. she made sure our lunch was ready and on the table when we'd come home for lunch from school. she was a safe place to share stories and was always available after school to listen. when i was laid up at home for two months recovering from my own back surgery, she was my physical therapist extraordinaire. strict, yet loving. hilarious and snarky. generous with her gifts.
she was the best.
i lost her twelve years ago to a train wreck called lung cancer.
when i left home for college almost {choke} thirty years ago, i ventured far from my home state. luckily, i had a family i had babysat for in the boston area that had moved to a city nearby my university. they became my "home away from home" and she became like a mother to me. she'd come and get me for weekends at their house. i'd sleep and do laundry, eat and sleep some more. just like coming home. her girls were like my little sisters and they loved me just like one of the family. she was there days after i gave birth to my first child and was my doula when i had my second. she has loved my children like her very own grandchildren and has always showered us with her love and affection. to this day, she remains my childrens' pretend grandmother whom they call beebs, and she's my second mother.  Photobucket
my MIL with her daughter, dana
twenty six years ago, a fifth mother entered my life. she's the mother to my husband, selfless, generous and a precious example of sacrificial love. she welcomed me into the family with open arms and has never let go. kind, careful with advice and quick with laughter, meeka {a name given to her by our son} is a living example of motherly love and affection.
the Lord has blessed me beyond what i deserve. many people can't even say they have one strong woman in their lives. i've been more than blessed by wonderful mothers. they've all been wonderful examples for me and have all inspired me to be the best mother i can be. my greatest desire in life is to pour in to others what has been given to me. may i never tire of the desire to breathe life into others.


  1. Awe, I am in tears!!!!


    You are so blessed, blessed indeed!

  2. Awww...that is lovely. I'm sitting here thinking,and I have to say, I really only had one mom. And that's okay!


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