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Friday, September 17, 2010

A Real Woman

This Sunday, our small groups start back up. Along with two college students and another woman, I am leading a group of Junior ladies from our youth group. This semester, we are focusing on the women in the Bible, and seeing how their life experiences and how they deal with them can be applied to our lives today.
First up is the Proverbs 31 woman.
Holy Superwoman, Batman!! Is there a more perfect woman out there?

She brings him good, not harm, 
       all the days of her life.

Oops. Fail. This wife here has criticism for her man. It's a area in which I really struggle. I'm sure it harkens back to a woman who is not at rest in the Lord… When I feel slighted or threatened, I do not retreat… I fight back. Ugh.
I wish sometimes that all I had to do was run my household and family without the stresses and demands of a full time job. I'd like to think that would make me a better wife, mother, person.
But I'm not… so that doesn't give me a pass on being a blessing to those around me.
So I press on… striving to be the woman that God has called me to be. I continually need to remind myself that it's not about me… ever.
Emptying myself out so I can fill up with Him.
To be clothed in humility… this is what I long for, and yet my pride, the anvil I carry… with my white-knuckled-grip on what steals and destroys… why can't I let you go?

What nugget would you bring to this discussion that would encourage and challenge these young women?

I pray, that out of my brokenness, I can encourage them to be ever encouraging to their husbands… to be a wife who builds up rather than tears down. For a man, the world can be an angry place where ideas of "success" often conflict with the Biblical view of success. Their fear of failure, of not providing is so real… and we are the oasis they will come home to (even if we are coming home from the workplace, too).
Lord, let me be an oasis of love and encouragement for my husband. In my setting aside my own needs, may it provide a fertile ground for him to return the blessing to me… but even if that isn't the case, let me be content in the love and encouragement YOU provide. Oh that my heart can be satisfied with just YOU.


  1. My husband has had many struggles as he redefines himself "late" in life. When we married three years ago, he had a job and a good income. Shortly after our marriage that job suddenly ended, and he has been working hard to become someone new for those three years.

    This has had a huge financial impact on us, as I'm sure you can imagine.

    He tells me I'm a great support to him, yet I know he feels anxious often. I just endeavor to let him know he is loved and that I know in time a door will open. I have a great deal of respect for him, and I believe he knows that.

    I think one of the things I do (or don't do), I don't raise my voice with him and if I'm upset about something, I don't speak in anger. instead I take time to process what I'm feeling and talk with him when we are both calm.

    His faith is so strong, and it was our faith that drew us to each other. So that's another thing to focus on--being equally yoked. I cannot imagine our marriage wouldn't have survived without Christ at its center.

  2. Sorry about the typo...eating lunch and working and blog commenting...proves I'm not good at the multi-tasking thing!

  3. wow..this is perfectly fitting for me today
    while Ponchy is not my hubs, he is my partner and I was totally a jerkface to him earlier today and have felt like pewp ever since...thank you for writing this!

  4. Isn't it interesting how we often want to 'accomplish great things for God' when what God wants is for us to live close to Him daily, depending on Christ's righteousness, not our own. I know I keep quoting Piper on this, but 'God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.'

  5. This sounds like a wonderful study. I wish you success and I pray that it changes you deeply.

  6. I needed to be reminded of this today, thanks. BUT, and this is what I would share with those young women if I could. That darn Proverbs 31 woman is pretty intimidating. We ARE going to fall short of that, everyday. That can leave you frustrated and uneasy, thinking you're disappointing God. The truth that finally sunk in came from a study called, "The Grace Walk". Can't remember the author, though I could look it up. His point was that as Christians we go through the cycle of "feeling" close to God, serving Him. Then we make a mistake, or big blunder, and we withdraw from God. Hide. Eventually red-dedicate ourselves, start over. But the truth is God loves us ALL THE TIME. He's not going to change His love because we do something dumb. He's going to use that dumb thing to teach us, and draw us closer. Like a mom who never stops loving her kid, even when he breaks the egg on the stove AGAIN, she's just happy to be there teaching him to cook, and knowing that one day he'll be able to do it just right.

  7. Whenever I read about the prov 31 woman I always picture a woman who has been a wife for awile. This whole wife role is one to grow into... I don't write that to say newer wives should slack, but there is(at least I have experienced) a learning curve. It's tough stuff that takes surrender, growth and practice. Thankfully, God is teaching me daily how to grow into the Prov 31 woman. And most days it's one lesson at a time that he's leading me through with patience and mercy.


love me some comment love… thanks so much for taking the time to share your heart with me!