vindication

while i'm not really a television junkie, there are a coupla shows that i really enjoy, and for different reasons. . . sometimes because it's just a sweet time to share life with my soon-to-be-college-student-daughter, and sometimes just because.

like many people my age (face it, the demographics for this show is older women), i am all about dancing with the stars. i've watched it pretty faithfully for the past 3 or so seasons, and i find it inspiring, and i really enjoy watching people improve over the weeks. i will be interested if there's any hope for the apple computer guy… i like him, but bless his heart, he has two left feet!! but a positive and fighting spirit! yay for awkwardness!

i'm so excited to see that melissa has been picked up for the show. i really hope she does well. of course all i know about her is from what i saw on that train-wreck of a show the bachelor, but she seems like a super positive person, and maybe now we'll get to see her parents!

after getting caught up into all the unfortunate drama on TB, i'm really happy that melissa has a chance to strut her stuff (but enough with the glitter on the tramp stamp!).  i'll be tuning in to cheer her on.

oh, and we're enjoying the smell of fresh cut grass (love it when boy wonder takes care of business!!) and the sight of the blooming bradford pears (notice i didn't say the smell of blooming bradford pears… i'm not trying to second guess God, but why make such a beautiful tree smell like rotting shrimp in the spring?? oh well, i'm sure there's a good reason, God!). oh how i love spring!!!

so that's all i got today. i'm super busy trying to work after being out of the office all morning (and what do i do? i blog?? hellooooo…) and i gotta try to get something accomplished.

till next time…

chip off the ole block

i'm sure i accomplished something last week, although i really don't have much to show for my efforts. i'm positive that it has nothing to do with the fact that i didn't spend entirely too much time blog-stalking or praying for the numerous people out there who are struggling with so much. you can check out what no one else is admitting to doing this past week on mckmamma's blog, where the whole thing started! (and i did not get an adrenaline rush when i made it into the top ten of her mr. linky list. no, that would be a prideful thing to admit to, and i gave up all about me for lent! does this mean that a not-me-monday blog post is breaking my sacrifice?)

i did not wake up groggy for church yesterday because i had a daylight saving time hangover. not me. i was not in bed by 10 pm passed out and was not sawing logs when boy wonder popped his head in at 11 to say g'night . i also did not do the sun's still shining at 6pm dance in my driveway either. who would have that kind of energy while so sleep-deprived??

in my on-line treasure hunting excursions, i didn't trip across some adorable stitch markers for knitting and then jump right on over to my hobby lobby to grab some rings and nylon cording and make a dozen of my very own.

how many stitch markers does one need? well, i'm pretty sure not a dozen, but i think perhaps there's a few of my knitting buddies who probably wouldn't want one, too.

and who knows, maybe some envious little knitter out there might not just want a little bling for her own project and want to pay me for them. . . nah. but i didn't enjoy the heck out of knocking out this little fun project. 

with the weather turning warm here in tennessee (thankyou, thankyou sweet Jesus!) i didn't avoid wearing capris because i still look like this:

no shave november certainly did not go into don't do it december, just wait another month january, forgetaboutit february to mayaswell march. no, i did not have to break out the electric hair trimmers (i don't own four razors) to make quick work of the job and do not have absolutely babybutt smooth legs. and i am not going barefoot in capris right this very minute! i would never share such TMI for everyone to see. nope, not me!

finally, i did not have a few bitter moments while the hubster and i waited for three and a half hours for boy wonder to get out of the periodontist's chair as he was undergoing surgery to provide a stable footing for the dental implants he will receive in about a year.i didn't relive the accident (or as the insurance company called it, the "on-purpose") that caused my little 8-yr old's brand new, white and gorgeous front teeth

to be reduced to dental confetti. i didn't wonder at the fact that our child, who has spent most of his life being dentally challenged, smiles his way through every situation and has the sunniest of dispositions when he really has every right to be quiet and protective of his smile.

i most certainly did not ask him to pose with his swollen face, either. that would be cruel. i mean it's not like i'm going to post them on the internet, right?

nah, i would never do that. and he, without a doubt, would never consider making it his profile picture on facebook.

he is not a chip off the old block. nahhhh. not him!

spring and sprung

rock it, you crocus, you!! oh, it's actually warm AND humid today! what? oh, bring it, i love it. i'm so ready for spring.

and while i'm on the topic of spring, let's consider sprung.

don't let the vantage point fool you, this ain't no big dog, it's a mini-dachshund!

like the name i'm considering adopting for roscoe, our ever-disappearing rascal of a dachshund.

it's either going to be schprung (the german past-tense of schpring) or it's gonna be houdini.

it's not like our backyard is such a goat ranch it's so unbearable that out little weiners can't wait to escape. i actually think it's the thrill of the escape. the feel of the earth between his little claws that excites his little heart.

so last night, the hubster lets out the pups for before-bed-business. out the back. to the fenced in oasis, we call the backyard. (and while it is quasi-goat ranch-ish, it's not that bad). the hubster gets busy doing something else, i open the door, one comes in and i figure the others are already in. the hubster says, hmmmm, the dogs have been out for awhile. did you let them back in?

me: yeah, bailey's back (typical. even if there would be a lit path under the fence with an usher, she'd still look at the hole with that cocked-head expression and wonder what in the world that is for and stay in the yard).

so i go out front, give a whistle with which i'm sure the neighbors are quite familiar, and here comes emma trotting home. hmmmm. gate is closed. hmmmmm. new hole?? gah, i'll check tomorrow. leave the fence propped open. (farbeit for them to return from whence they escaped) and know that when roscoe decides to slink back home, he'll go to the doggy door in the garage and will have a safe place to sleep off his hangover.

sure enough. 2:20. bark. 

bark.

bark.

me: grrrrr. (i hate being a light sleeper!!)

roscoe: let me in, i'm tired!

me: not on your chance, buddy. i'm really angry with you and you can sleep out here. i shut the hatch on the doggy door (technically it's a cat door, but don't tell them) and glare in roscoe's direction. the glare is returned. i could seriously have a staring contest, but then i would never get back to sleep. 

have i mentioned that i really did grrrrr?

now it is the next day, and the gateway to freedom has yet to be discovered. 

maybe we will call him houdini after all!

what, who me?

the ups and the downs

tears. are they ever very far away from the surface? i swear, i have kidneys right behind my eyes and the tears sometimes shoot straight out from my face like one of those little gag-flower deals that clowns wear that squirt when you bend down to smell it.

now there's a visual you could probably have done without.

i'm super thrilled that baby jonah has finally eaten after several days of not. and when you have a critically ill newborn, every little baby (excuse the pun) step is such a huge accomplishment. i'm so glad that these parents who are dealing with devestating news can give a huge shout-out to Jesus for allowing this to happen. and i'm also pretty honored to be one of the many (thousands) that are praying for this little guy.

i am moved to tears over the stories i hear. over the beauty of creativity. i mean, some people can flat out write! and i am so blessed by the stories they tell. and of how they bring glory to the father in their telling. i am blessed by the gifts God has blessed upon his people and their faithfulness to use them to His glory. amen, and amen.

so even though my "high" is bathed in snot and tears, it still really is a high.

my low? 

still struggling with me, but then i believe this may be a lifelong struggle, as it seems i'll be stuck with me for quite some time. but it's okay. i know that it's going to take a lifetime to learn all He would have me learn. i'm okay with that. i'm trying to find the beauty in letting go, in being content to be the clay and allow Him to be the amazing potter that He is. so i'm struggling, not in a beating myself up kind of way, but in a move over kind of way. He is telling me, i know you know how to drive, but do you mind if i take the wheel, honey? could you slide over and let me show you the way?

and so, this really isn't a low, it's kind of a high, too. because i know that i'm not the boss of me. as much as i like to think i am, i'm not. 

i wish the suffering of God's children could be washed away. i hate that abbey, jonah, veiyah, cora, tuesday, and only about a zillion other kids didn't have to suffer. or hurt. or die. but i know that God is using each and every one of those stories for His purposes. i know He is at the center of it all. but still. . .

so if you want to join in on remembering your highs and lows of the last week along with the riggs family, head on over to their blog to see what they and many others have been up to. i am super thankful that in the midst of a really hard week, abby had a chance to be a pirate and is working hard to make cancer walk the plank. arrrrrrrrg!!

sensory overload

i just admitted to having scrapbookaphobia to someone. i also pointed out that ironically, i have a tremendous collection of scrapbook supplies. i wonder if there is a 12-step program out there for me?

not my scrapbook, mind you.

could it be a fear of failure? or of wasting precious supplies (it makes much better sense to leave the expensive papers and supplies unused, dontcha think?) or the TIME it takes to create something priceless? perhaps it's the glazed over eyes as i think of wading back for 17-19 years of photographs that keeps me from memorymaking.

like i've said before. i have memories. they're just all in a box (well 8 photo bins to be exact) and just unassembled. heck. growing up, i used to love to wade through the shoebox in the closet where all our photos were stored. okay, so we just had the one shoebox, but it was still fun! my kids could just have 8 times the fun!!

i actually did take this picture last year in my front yard!

perhaps it's the A.D.D. the fact that i'd rather learn how to take really good pictures (nice timing, the kids are about to leave). but about the time i collect the gear, i'll have moved on to another cool hobby. ohhhhh. to finish a project!

must i be content to just look and admire greatness? must it be the way with crafting the way it is with music? being painfully aware of the beauty of the music and absolutely in agony over not being able to play an instrument well? must i be the appreciator and never the creator?

or perhaps just write. 

and then i get back into that whole pride of giftedness debate. 

maybe i'll just sit quietly and try not to be noticed. or the center of attention. or the funny one. 

nah. pfsht!

why am i surprised?

when i watch a show like the bachelor, why am i surprised when the people on it act like sleezebags? i mean, isn't it a pretty much sleezy show right from the start? so in the aftermath of the disaster of a show like last night, it begs a few questions:

a) whyintheworld do i subject myself to such trash?

b) why is the world (aka, me) drawn to this show like rubbernecking an accident site?

c) why can't i get up the same level of excitement to watch something good for me, or for that matter, throwing my television set right out my livingroom window? (drastic, but follow the thought)

i wish i had good answers.

a) blame it on the daughter. i know, not fair. i am the mother afterall. but with a girl about to leave my home, it feels like it's a bit late to start nagging about what she fills her head with. and honestly, this is the one time during the week that we actually sit down and watch and TALK. what?? i know! and it does give me a chance to speak truth into her heart about women who throw themselves at men, or cattiness, or how to socialize, empathy, encouragement, whore-like behavior (i'm talking about you, jason), etc. it really does open the door for some real-life teaching moments. but i don't mean to whitewash what is really, at its heart, a sleezy, contrived show. and we talk alot about editing, and how the previews rarely tell the true story and about ratings and network manipulation. who knew trash could have a purpose?

b) i read the spoiler sites. (why is another blog altogether) i knew what was going to happen. so why did i watch?? maybe to see how it was going to play out or to see if i could tell if it was completely contrived. (scripted?? ummm hello?? dee-yawn-ah's completely scripted [badly] appearance that they hyped all season long and chris harrison's ATR questions to molly about "how do you feel about jason today, do you still have feelings for him?" uhhh duh. pick up the clue phone. it's for you) so yeah. i'm a rubbernecker. you can say it to my face. i'm not proud of it. i know i am. i just don't know why.

c) i do watch good things. and better yet, i don't watch alot. i'd really, rather read, to tell you the truth. but in the spirit of watching UT football and basketball. not gonna throw the tv out. notgonnadoit, nope. can't.

so in summation. never. again. notgonnawatchiteveragain.

jason. lame. weak. sleezebag.

chris harrison. yikes. slimebag. manipulator. fake.

abc. ratings whore. 

okay. i feel better. but i feel like i need a shower.

now who's growling??

well, it's another installment of not me! monday, and you can check out everything that noone is admitting to doing over the past week over at mckmamma's blog. 

this has been a relatively quiet week, which all began with me not blog-stalking mckmamma all monday morning while i waited for all the sleepyheads on the west coast to wake up. nooooo, i didn't spend a really unproductive morning that would have steam shooting out of my boss's ears if he knew how many times i checked the site. no, that would probably get me fired, but then again i certainly don't sleep with my boss, or am not married to him, so i guess i don't have to worry… too much.

my heart didn't almost split in two during the ash wednesday service when i was faced with my own pride. no, i'm certainly not still struggling with the whole notion of "me" and am not finding my lenten sacrifice of all things "me" a huge battle. but i am happy to report that i have been making progress (or maybe i'm not making progress. i'm not exactly sure how to say that "not-me" style).

i didn't almost pee on myself (just a little) when the Lord opened the door that had been closed for months, allowing me to actually GO on the m-trip to ch*na that i have been planning (but not going) for july. no, that would be a little over the top, so i had to be content with not squealing over His mightiness!

i wasn't just as excited as a child is for christmas at the opening of our church's M-conference. nope, i don't look forward to over 30 families converging on a week-long festival where we all share what the Lord is doing all over the world and in our own backyards. i didn't bawl like a baby during worship, and i certainly would not be caught with my arms raised over my head (afterall, we are the frozen chosen, and WHO does that in public??).

and i most certainly did not make my not-me list in my head as i was lying awake at 2 am waiting for my little weiner dog (the last of three) who had not gone and run off like a crazy pack of dogs with the temperatures in the 20s just before going to bed last nite. no, i wasn't slightly irritated when i had just drifted off after checking every half hour if he had returned, only to be awakened by the please-let-me-in bark at 2:30. now who's growling??

NOT ME!!