why am i surprised?

when i watch a show like the bachelor, why am i surprised when the people on it act like sleezebags? i mean, isn't it a pretty much sleezy show right from the start? so in the aftermath of the disaster of a show like last night, it begs a few questions:

a) whyintheworld do i subject myself to such trash?

b) why is the world (aka, me) drawn to this show like rubbernecking an accident site?

c) why can't i get up the same level of excitement to watch something good for me, or for that matter, throwing my television set right out my livingroom window? (drastic, but follow the thought)

i wish i had good answers.

a) blame it on the daughter. i know, not fair. i am the mother afterall. but with a girl about to leave my home, it feels like it's a bit late to start nagging about what she fills her head with. and honestly, this is the one time during the week that we actually sit down and watch and TALK. what?? i know! and it does give me a chance to speak truth into her heart about women who throw themselves at men, or cattiness, or how to socialize, empathy, encouragement, whore-like behavior (i'm talking about you, jason), etc. it really does open the door for some real-life teaching moments. but i don't mean to whitewash what is really, at its heart, a sleezy, contrived show. and we talk alot about editing, and how the previews rarely tell the true story and about ratings and network manipulation. who knew trash could have a purpose?

b) i read the spoiler sites. (why is another blog altogether) i knew what was going to happen. so why did i watch?? maybe to see how it was going to play out or to see if i could tell if it was completely contrived. (scripted?? ummm hello?? dee-yawn-ah's completely scripted [badly] appearance that they hyped all season long and chris harrison's ATR questions to molly about "how do you feel about jason today, do you still have feelings for him?" uhhh duh. pick up the clue phone. it's for you) so yeah. i'm a rubbernecker. you can say it to my face. i'm not proud of it. i know i am. i just don't know why.

c) i do watch good things. and better yet, i don't watch alot. i'd really, rather read, to tell you the truth. but in the spirit of watching UT football and basketball. not gonna throw the tv out. notgonnadoit, nope. can't.

so in summation. never. again. notgonnawatchiteveragain.

jason. lame. weak. sleezebag.

chris harrison. yikes. slimebag. manipulator. fake.

abc. ratings whore. 

okay. i feel better. but i feel like i need a shower.