the ups and the downs

tears. are they ever very far away from the surface? i swear, i have kidneys right behind my eyes and the tears sometimes shoot straight out from my face like one of those little gag-flower deals that clowns wear that squirt when you bend down to smell it.

now there's a visual you could probably have done without.

i'm super thrilled that baby jonah has finally eaten after several days of not. and when you have a critically ill newborn, every little baby (excuse the pun) step is such a huge accomplishment. i'm so glad that these parents who are dealing with devestating news can give a huge shout-out to Jesus for allowing this to happen. and i'm also pretty honored to be one of the many (thousands) that are praying for this little guy.

i am moved to tears over the stories i hear. over the beauty of creativity. i mean, some people can flat out write! and i am so blessed by the stories they tell. and of how they bring glory to the father in their telling. i am blessed by the gifts God has blessed upon his people and their faithfulness to use them to His glory. amen, and amen.

so even though my "high" is bathed in snot and tears, it still really is a high.

my low? 

still struggling with me, but then i believe this may be a lifelong struggle, as it seems i'll be stuck with me for quite some time. but it's okay. i know that it's going to take a lifetime to learn all He would have me learn. i'm okay with that. i'm trying to find the beauty in letting go, in being content to be the clay and allow Him to be the amazing potter that He is. so i'm struggling, not in a beating myself up kind of way, but in a move over kind of way. He is telling me, i know you know how to drive, but do you mind if i take the wheel, honey? could you slide over and let me show you the way?

and so, this really isn't a low, it's kind of a high, too. because i know that i'm not the boss of me. as much as i like to think i am, i'm not. 

i wish the suffering of God's children could be washed away. i hate that abbey, jonah, veiyah, cora, tuesday, and only about a zillion other kids didn't have to suffer. or hurt. or die. but i know that God is using each and every one of those stories for His purposes. i know He is at the center of it all. but still. . .

so if you want to join in on remembering your highs and lows of the last week along with the riggs family, head on over to their blog to see what they and many others have been up to. i am super thankful that in the midst of a really hard week, abby had a chance to be a pirate and is working hard to make cancer walk the plank. arrrrrrrrg!!