not feelin it, not me

it's not me monday, the day when us followers of mckmama spill our guts about what we would never admit to doing. last monday was suspended because mckmama's little happy meal is in the hospital with SVT, a condition which relates to a super fast heartbeat (sorry, i know that's totally oversimplified). a week later, he's still there, and frankly, i've not been feeling much like blogging and have felt about as cold and wet as the weather outside. so in honor of mckmama, and the not me carnival, here is not me, stellan style. i'm still not feelin it, but for you stellan and jm, i'm all over it. and if you would like to see all the other people kickin it stellan-style, head over here. there's a lotta love goin on over there!

i have seriously not checked the internet a thousand times during the day and into the night to see if there is any news about stellan.

i haven't referred to stellan as a friend of mine's baby. yeah, me and mckmama go waaaaaay back!

i haven't put stellan on my facebook status most of the week. and i didn't post mckmama's blog on there either. i mean, if i'm gonna advertise a blog, it would be mine, right?

i haven't even told my husband about stellan. i mean he already thinks i'm crazy about my blog friends. and i am not crazy. not me!

my small group of freshman girls didn't pray for stellan after hearing all about him. no, they would never pray for a precious adorable baby that they have never met!

my daughter doesn't ask about stellan, either.

i don't pray for stellan non-stop every day. i haven't dreamed about him. and my heart isn't breaking. i'm not praying for him right this very second!! nope, i would never do something like that and then update my facebook status again and ask for prayers.

and i haven't thought about mckmama every single minute of every single day and lift her up. i know there's a PC out there that needs our prayers, too, and i do pray for him, but i don't have the connection that i have to mckmama. though we've never met, i feel like i've sat down and had coffee with her every day since christmas. i love how she shares her heart and her life so openly, how she shares her faith so winsomely, yet so boldly, how she is vulnerable, funny and creative. and even though she has so many followers, she takes the time to jot a note, personally, on numerous occasions. i know she must be so torn up about stellan, and also for not being home with her msc.

i'm not praying like crazy for the mckfamily. with every beat of my heart.