Visit my new blog

In case you haven't heard, I've moved my blog, but haven't figured out how to redirect yet. HTML code can kiss my a*s. Come visit me here:

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

a little couch time

i responded to a question posted on a group discussion this morning. the question was "what does your husband think about you blogging?" or something along those lines. it got me to thinking about why i do what i do and why i have people out there in the blogland that i consider "friends" and the whole phenomina of blogging. it made my head hurt.

so i'll share a bit of the online therapy session i had with myself:

the fact that i blog is something that my husband is pretty clueless about. in fact, most of my family is clueless about it (although my kids know, read it sometimes, and my son's GF reads more frequently than both of my own kids) even though we are over 650 miles away. oh well. i don't really talk about it much. but i do mention some of my "imaginary friends" and what i've learned from them. i pretty much keep the fact that they are my "imaginary" (online) friends on the DL, and simply refer to them as "friends." confused yet?

i blog to an audience of less than 10 regular readers. actually, if i had ten regular readers, that would be rather amazing to me!

this oftentimes begs the question:

why the heck do i blog??

herin lies the self therapy session.

i wish i really knew! is it because i think that there is something in my little life that might be interesting or insightful to someone else? is this a sign of excessive narcissistic tendencies?am i doing any kind of public service? if i say something in the middle of the woods, miles away from anyone, does it matter or does anyone care? i don't really know. most of the time i just feel like i'm talking to myself. perhaps that's therapy in itself. perhaps it my way of ironing out some kinks.

back to the husband. (did i mention i have ADD?)

i work for him in the family biz. i moved my office home after being out in our corporate office (of four people) and then into a creative co-op downtown, which i loved. being a designer, it's good to have people to bounce ideas off of. but money became tight and i moved home. into the lower level. no windows. i "affectionately" call my office the cave (much to the irritation of the hubster). i don't really mind being at home, but found that i crave interaction with people. i'm captivated by stories. i love good writing. and i have found some really neat people out there in the land-o-blog. many of the stories are heart breaking. and most of the people i follow have strong walks with the Lord, and their journeys encourage my heart. i am honored to pray for many of them.

if my husband knew how much i blogstalk or how much time i spend on my own blog (which really isn't much, but it is "work time") he'd probably stroke out. and the fact that i blog about us/family/whatever would strike him as exceedingly odd. i think he thinks the whole notion of blogging is a huge waste of time and i should be spending my time helping to make our struggling little business stronger. i think he would almost see it as a betrayal of our family business.

so i'm a closet blogger. i don't mention it to my IRL friends much. i don't advertise it overly on my facebook page (another eye-roll from the hubster). i enjoy my secret little online hobby. i get great ideas, yummy recipes, it sparks my creativity, i feel connected to the outside world from my little "cave."

but this also begs the question.

am i honoring my marriage by having this little "side compartment" that i don't necessarily keep hidden? it is out there. i just don't talk about it. 

okay. therapy session over. i really do have work.

and i better get some of it done because we're about to leave on a little vacation of sorts. we're taking bamagirl to college for her orientation, then heading right out to denver for a bit of a family reunion and an opportunity to be adult guests at Frontier Ranch, the YoungLife camp, where both of our children spent the "best week of their lives." We have invited the hubsters parents to join us for a couple of days there, too, and are praying that the Lord uses this time to His glory.


  1. My husband definitely knows about my blog, but he just rolls his eyes about it a lot. I show him my blog when I post pictures of him or talk about him, but other than that, he doesn't care.

    I think that pretty everyone in my real life knows about it. I think if I were to go back, I wouldn't have been as open about it at work.

  2. if i was as hilarious as you, kristina, i'd tell everyone too!! a snuggie salute!!

  3. Your blog posts are written by a woman of God, a Child of Christ. This shines through daily. And by reading, I feel a stronger connection to Him. You write selflessly and shamelessly. You bare your soul - and by doing so, you are an shining example to me and for me. Thank you!

    As far as your husband? Well... you don't write about him too much. But what I love is the sense I have about you and your family. A loving Christian family. And, as a divorced single mom, it is so refreshing to see. It fills me with joy that God's Plan for family is indeed working out there. It makes me smile.

    I [selfishly] hope you keep on blogging. I hope these words help you to understand why.
    ~ Becky

  4. I don't tell my husband much either. He knows that I follow a few blogs, mainly MckMama's because I get a million tweets from her but he doesn't really know the extent of my blogging and he doesn't really know that I have my own. I don't tell him because I am afraid that he will think it is stupid because he just doesn't understand what all of my blog friends mean to me. They let me into their lives and share little bits of themselves with me and I really consider the blogs I follow on a regular basis to be my "friends" I also like to write my own blog for some creative outlet and a place to store my recipes and all that jazz! I also just like being able to say things to these "imaginary" people in hopes that I might help someone with something or that they might help me in some way.

    Wow I think I need to write my own post on this subject instead of high jacking your comment section!!!!

    I am one of your faithful readers!! so you know you at least have one!!

  5. Hi there! This is a really great post. I did one a month or so ago called Philosophy of Blogging 101 - prompted by an eyeroll from hubs over my blog - and it was a serious reflection on whether a blog is an attention grab. Does it have any real value?

    I've decided that for me it does have value. I loved blogging when I had two readers and one was my mom! Like you, it sparks my creativity, I've made great friends (and they really ARE friends), and it's just fun.

    I know a lot of women who have husbands who hate their blogs and I just fail to understand that (unless she's blogging really personal stuff without his agreeing to it). But I know people who talk about their new shoes or focus totally on photography and the hubby hates it.

    I think the husbands need therapy to uncover what on earth is so threatening about a mommy blog? And if your wife has a hobby she enjoys, who are you to say it's a waste of time? Sports is a giant waste of time too after all.

    We try always to ground our marriage in Christian values. I don't think having a "secret" blog or a blog on the QT is a violation (unless you are revealing personal things that involve him without his consent, of course) because we need our own space, and a blog is a space. I wouldn't come home from coffee with my best friend and tell hubs everything we shared. I'm entitled to my relationship with my friend. I think blogging among friends falls into something like that category. My husband didn't know about my blog for 6 months because I thought he'd think it was stupid. And generally I think he does, except for certain posts about the kids that he actually likes.

    Hang in there!! It's really hard to understand blogging (not to even mention Twitter) from the "outside."

  6. Oh dear - had no idea my comment was so long. I apologize!

  7. I love reading your blog. Sorry I haven't been keeping up as well lately, but I do read just might be with a week long delay. Now that I am settling into my job, though, I think things might get better.

  8. I've definitely pondered these questions as well. Plus, I worry about writing too much about my kids and their struggles. And I wonder, why do I let my voicemail pick up calls from my IRL friends, yet I can't wait to blog and read blogs by my internet friends.....

    Thanks for sharing your own questions.


love me some comment love… thanks so much for taking the time to share your heart with me!