what's this world coming to?

forget global warming.

forget same sex marriage. (and the fact that these two were recently named to be the ones most moms would like to babysit their kids. . . random!!)

forget rising gas prices. (and trust me, people. they're rising!)

but online parties?

whatintheworld?? 

it used to be you'd get a postcard in the mail. sometimes homey-handwritten, more lately the nice, four color kind with a beautifully art directed image on the front, and on the other side, instructions for when the party is and who the hostess is.nevermind that it's HORRIBLY gramatically incorrect!!

be it tupperware, pampered chef, southern living, mary kay, candles, underwear, cute monogrammed smocked clothing. . . you've been to them, i'm sure.

there'd be snacks, small talk, laughter, child-rearing advice, a little husband-wranging advice/venting, and if you were really lucky, there'd even be a glass of wine!

and then after a little mingle-time, the main event would happen. the "account representative" would do the "vanna white" maneuver over the array of products and would proceed to share with you all the reasons why you couldn't possibly live without the iceburg lettuce keeper (never mind that i haven't bought iceberg lettuce in three years). and nevermind that i already have an iceberg lettuce keeper in my "tupperware cabinet" that i haven't used since the day i bought it, but the next thing you know, i'm thinking that my kitchen won't be complete until i get one. in lemon yellow. or whatever the latest "in" color tupperware is featuring.

wait. i've got the old stuff, i need the new stuff (not like my old stuff doesn't have any "burp" left in it, i just want the new color!!)

i've soon got an order form, filled out to the nines. and while i have visions of my husband serving me with papers, i hand it to the girl so she can talley and add shipping and tax and i can then anxiously await the potential thrill of winning a teensy door prize while i cautiously hand her a check that i secretly hope will not land me in divorce court.

i hopped on facebook the other day and what to my wondering inbox should appear but an e-vite to a pampered chef party! oooooh!! what time is it? i wondered. mmmmm i can just tast the little goodies the pampered chef lady is going to make for us! oh! i hope it's that pillsbury crescent roll appetizer wreath thingy! i need another one of those little metal spatula/server things, too. 

wait. 

there is no party.

i'm at the party. well i will be as soon as i click on this link and go to this site and order here and stick the hostess's name in here and click shopping cart and all done!

no door prize?

no pillsbury crescent roll appetizer wreath thingy?

no wine?

no fun!

i mean if the hostess isn't going to even go to the trouble of cleaning her house and making finger food and some weird punch-concoction, why should i buy some stuff (that i don't even need) so she can earn points and get free stuff?? 

has the world come to this? 

point and click parties? bring your own beverage?

i don't think so. 

i'm going to go get my lettuce keeper and mix up a batch of cookies. make my own dang snacks and maybe i'll go hog-wild and have orange juice and ginger ale. and i'll cook my cookies on my pampered chef stone and i'll scrape them off with my little pampered chef spatula. and i'll put some mary kay makeup on and have my own dang party.

but i'm not going to go to some online party. 

notgonnahappen. she should at least have to clean her house.