take me back

this time last year, i was waking up at 3 am surveying the sleeping city of guiyang, ch*na as my system had not quite adjusted to the twelve hour time difference. while sleep was illusive, it was great to stand on my apartment's balcony, knowing that most of the city's 4 million people were still asleep and spend time with our Father and pray for them.

my heart is lost in that part of asia. i sigh contently just thinking about my three weeks there. 

and i sigh with a heavy heart knowing that i am not a part of the team that is serving there right now.this is not the year for me, and i think this is one of the hardest aspects of m*ssion work. listening to His voice as He calls me to . . . stay.

stay. 

really?

"yes, it's not about you, after all," He says.

oh. right. 

so this staying, this not-going, has me thinking of why we feel like we have to "go" to make a difference, to serve.

saturday, i'll be p-walking through the downtown of my home city. experiencing the sweltering heat of the mid-day sun (just as our team is frying in the ch*nese heat), pr*ying for the unreached people of ch*na. my hope is there will be many from our youth group that will join me. 

but if i'm all alone? that's okay, too. i'll remember how it was, just me and my Father, standing there on the balcony, lifting up pr*yers for His people. 

***************

and i also find it ridiculous that i have to be careful what i type. that i have to be careful about what i say here and on the facebook group for this event. just another picture of how the enemy is always on the prowl. 

so sorry, evil one, you lose. 

just in case you haven't heard. you can try, you can scheme. but in the end? the game is over. 

thank you, JESUS.