as the stomach turns…

it began when my kids left for school… preschool.

the phone would ring and i would hear the director's voice (this was before caller id)… and an adrenaline rush would course from deep in my stomach through my entire body in a nanosecond. 

oh, boy wonder is fine…

whew. visions of projectile vomit and please come get your child are averted.

but next time, could your first words be:

your kids are fine, this is school director. do you think you could bring an extra change of clothes for bama girl tomorrow?

if you have kids, you know what i'm talking about. give me the kids are fine first. then you can say what's on your mind.

when they're not with you, and the phone rings, you get that little jolt. for just a second.

it happened to me almost twelve years ago. i had just dropped the kiddles off at the rec center. i was fixing dinner when the phone rang. only this time, it was a your-kid-isn't-fine kinda call. in fact, our 8 year old son had been introduced face-first into a brick wall and had had all four of his brand new permanent teeth knocked out at the hand of a 12 year old. 

i realized even though i got the phone call that every parent dreads, Jesus gave me the peace, control and strength to handle it. supernatural, God-given peace. 

there were plenty more opportunities for our kids to branch out, and it wasn't too long before our kids started driving.
every time they were out of the house, i just dreaded the phone ringing.
we've had a phone call about a wreck, and it was alright. boy wonder handled the entire situation with grace and peace (again, thank you, Jesus!). we were thankful that he was unharmed even though the car was toast.
the kids are out on their own now, and you'd think i'd react a bit better when the phone rings, but i still feel that familiar jolt.
this sunday, boy wonder was out of town, visiting girl wonder for the weekend. he was due home to kick off the opening day of wiffle ball. the phone rang as we were coming home from church. his daddy answered. and it was quiet for a minute, and then the hubs told him to calm down… it's okay… you can tell me… it's alright… breathe…
about this time, i'm feeling my lunch start a revolt at the pit of my stomach. it was pouring torrents of rain and all i could think was accident… but he was talking (or trying to) so that was a good sign. turned out he needed a little man-talk with the hubs about woman issues and everything was alright. i got to keep my lunch, but it took a minute for my heart rate to return to normal.
sometimes, i just hate the phone.
yesterday, bamagirl called me. she was at work. i wasn't too worried, but it's unusual for me to hear from her in the middle of her shift.
she was quiet. and upset.
a friend's dad died in his sleep. he was 49.
and in good health.
his son is due to graduate from high school on friday.
a call like that can just kick you right in the gut and knock the air right out of you.
it did me.
so my house was filled with very upset girls. bamagirl's best friend is friends/neighbors with the family. her parents are the couple's best friends. and they're in greece. on a cruise. so bamagirl's friend was on the phone, hysterical, trying all day to reach her parents.
it was a drama-filled day.
my heart hurts. and there is little i can do to help the situation… other than pray, which i did and am doing.
it's going to be a long week.

times like this make me so thankful that i know Jesus and that my friend is now at the banquet we all long for… but his family is grieving, as we all are…
yeah. times like these don't make me like that phone any more than i already did…