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Saturday, October 9, 2010

Can you hear me now?

There's not alot on my mind these days… but that's never stopped me from speaking what little there is! ha!
I've had some awesome conversations over the past week with REAL people. I know… amazing, right? And I've had some great contributions (OL and IRL) to my question about living radically for Jesus. I've been consciously and intentionally engaging in human interaction of the real-life variety and have been blessed for my efforts.
On Monday, I met three of my old college sorority sisters. This was a source of some pre-meeting anxiety for me… not knowing who was going to be there or how many… having gained weight since college… having only been a member for a year (I deactivated after having to appear before the counsel for having dropped out of school for two quarters… paying for school and sorority myself was overwhelming and their lack of understanding my absence was the catalyst for me deactivating) I was fearful of not being accepted. It's funny how easy it is to go right back to all those high school/college insecurities. It ended up being really fun, and there was a small crowd, which helped alleviate my concerns. I didn't talk too much (a miracle in itself) and felt like I really belonged. We're planning on doing this on a regular basis. Next time, I'll bring my camera!
Lately, it seems the hardest conversations I have are the ones with the Hubs. I don't know if it's just too much togetherness or that we are impatient to really listen to one another's hearts. I'm sure there's a bit of both involved. I'm striving to be a better listener (yes, another miracle, folks!) and affirm his ideas and resist the urge to criticize. It's the ones we are closest to that are often the hardest relationships!
I had a great week of interacting and investing and breathing Life into my friends and those I'm in ministry with.
I've discovered that living radically for Jesus is an ongoing process… for me this week it means getting out of my comfort zone, interacting with people and listening. For anyone that knows me… that last one is pretty radical!

9 comments:

  1. Sounds like it was a great week. So glad you are pushing yourself further than your comfort zone. As far as the husband goes I just think the older we get the more aggravated we become with each other.

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  2. Your post touched me..I am having my thinking revamped and trying to not talk so much. I am a very wordy person and always have to know way too many of the facts. My husband and I are joined at the hip and have been together 24/7 for the last 18 years after I went to work with him in his law office and then we downsized and moved home two years ago and now it's just the two of us..we've been married 41 years. Last night he made a statement about something he would do...that will never happen..BUT it would be devastating to all of us and to Christ...and then today he tells me he is very restless at church where we have been for 30 years and I am NOT!!!!I let him know how I feel and then the Lord told me to shut up and pray and trust Him. So I am walking in trust and this is going to be hard, but your post me courage from Him. May not make any sense to you, but it does to me. I do think the older we become the more we can aggravate each other and love each other all the more....I told you I was wordy...I am finished...thank you. Blessings on your writing...

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  3. First of all, who hasn't gained weight since college? Sign me up for that one...(ok, yes, I was anorexic, but I've gained weight!) Secondly, I'm so glad that you're reconnecting with friends from other "eras" in your life. As to the Hubs thing...The Engineer and I love each other passionately...which makes for extremely, um intense, conflict. I have no advice, except for "I live there too." What I so appreciate about you is your complete honesty. Thanks for just always putting it out there.

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  4. I'm proud of you for stepping outside your comfort zone. The risk was worth it.

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  5. I discovered this weekend, through all the freakin' drama (see today's post), that I really focus on the negative. Like all weekend I heard myself saying things that were negative. Complaining about this and that, and I'm trying to change that. I know there was an attack on this weekend, so maybe that had something to do with it... I don't want to be a negative person. Especially not to my husband, and I think I have. I decided tonight that I'm going to have a good cleansing cry and get it all out of my system.

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  7. It is so good to hear that you were able to get outside of your comfort zone and had a positive experience. I am sorry, though, that conversations have been tough with the hubs lately. I will pray for y'all about that.

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  8. yay for you for stepping into the unknown!!
    I too am nervous around people...I know it doesn't SEEM I would be...I do well with a couple of people but when its more than just a few it's like I freeze up, I feel that they are all judging me...anywhoodle

    you are an inspiration to me :)

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love me some comment love… thanks so much for taking the time to share your heart with me!