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Wednesday, February 16, 2011

breaking up is {technologically} hard to do

while i'm hardly an expert in romance… or social media, my life right now is necessitating an upgrade to relationships 2.0.
considering both bama girl and boy wonder have only had one serious relationship in their lifetimes, i haven't had to deal with breakups and broken hearts.
just before christmas {finals eve, more specifically} bama girl was hit with an unexpected breakup after 18 months of togetherness. i love you on wednesday, see ya later on thursday. whatever. it's a case of a long distance relationship and new directions and some other stuff. i'm trying to stay out of the specifics. it's causing bama girl to really grow and stretch herself, and i've been really encouraged at how much she's leaning into God for strength and wisdom.
boy wonder's two year long relationship has had some recent ups and downs. after taking a 5 month hiatus to grow spiritually in the hopes of learning to put Jesus first and resist to the urge to make each other their god, he and girl wonder made it official again just before christmas. he even went to michigan with her family over christmas and all was well with their relationship. an unfortunate incident led boy wonder to have to walk away from the relationship… a difficult endeavor considering two days before the implosion he was talking to me about how he was going to ask her to marry him. it was a crash-n-burn of magnificent proportions.
not so much for the boy… but the for the girl… social media/technology makes breaking up so hard to do. texting. facebook stalking. just the immediacy of communication makes it so hard to let go, stay let go, and not to reconnect. unless until it's healthy to pursue that.
it all will take a level of self-discipline to just say no. say no to the caller id. say no to texting. say no to fb stalking. it's a degree of self-discipline i never had to deal with back in the stone age. seriously. i'm out of my league.


  1. It's so true! I can't quit blogging!

  2. Fortunately, FB has just evolved so you don't have to show your relationship status. It was easier for my 20 year old to just not put her relationship than to flip from couple to single status.

  3. And considering the fact that our son texts about 150 times a day, I know what you mean. Tough times.

  4. It's this century's version of driving past his house to see if his car is in the drive...or to see whose car is in the drive. Not that I ever did that, much.

  5. I was scared for a minute. I thought you were leaving FB!

    The internet was still brand new when I started dating, and I remember one night my boyfriend and I were in the same chat room, and I was insanely jealous because he was chatting with other girls.

    Now it's even worse. People joke about couples having joint facebook accounts b/c they can't trust one another, but I've counseled a friend through a re-connect she made w/ an old boyfriend (she was currently married) when she felt the tug to meet with that guy for an "innocent" coffee.

    Social media can be great, I just came from Mckmama's blog about Africa, talking about how the internet is so great b/c it educates us about those less fortunate, but then there is this side of it too.

    *shakes head* I think society has put too much emotional stock in the internet sometimes. I worry about where we are headed, and I'm thankful that we have a rescue on the way!


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