because my mom the hubs said so

this is random.
not gonna lie.

i was putting a roll of toilet tissue on the holder this morning {something my kids don't seem to be dexterous enough to do} and felt a pang of mother-betrayal as i completed the task.
the roll spits out the paper from the top. a marked difference from my upbringing. we were a paper-against-the-wall family. {oddly enough, this is enough to spark a national debate… over or under?}
until i married.
i had to adapt.
you know, submit to my husband.
it wasn't hard, really. took some getting used to and now i rather like it.

the paper coming from the top of the roll… not the submitting.

that is something i still struggle with.
and it's funny too that i started writing this this morning thinking i would talk about why i use tide laundry detergent {well, used to use tide until my daughter developed a rash… now we use gain, but that's an entirely different story} and palmolive dish soap and fold my towels in half, in half and in thirds.
because my mom said so.

but where i'm feeling more inclined to go today is toward the topic of submission.
ohhhh, not because i like the subject.
i bristle at the thought.
which is why i'm here.
what is it about submitting that causes my jaw to set ever-so-slightly on edge?
probably because for as long as i can remember, i've had authority issues.
it's how i got from wisconsin to tennessee when i was 18. {you want me to go to UW eau claire? don't wanna. how bout UT knoxville?? no? okay! i'll go!}
yet it doesn't quite explain why i've always gravitated to older men in my relationships. clearly, a child with a domineering dad would look for something else in a relationship, right?
apparently not.
and while the hubs is certainly not domineering… not by a longshot… he is older {seven years and seven days, to be exact!} and a first born. i'm the younger, and the "baby" of my family. it's a natural setting of submission.

and conflict.

i'm thankful that we have a strong biblical perspective to rest on in this area. and since becoming a follower of Christ at age 32, i'm happy to say that submitting to the hubs has become much more tolerable {see… i'm still such a rebel… i did not say joyful… ha!}.
submitting isn't weakness. it does reduce conflict and is an encouragement to my husband.
and while i might still bristle on occasion, it does give me joy to know that i am in my Father's will.

but i do still want that dang ipad.
le sigh.