it's early this morning, as sleep has eluded me after a dream.
i'm not much into dream interpretation, but i wonder sometimes, that i may be more concerned for the future than i should be. when life seems so uncertain. . .our economy, rogue nations with nuclear capabilities, flu epidemics, business uncertainties, college loans, friends with sick children, hunger in the world. . . and on and on it goes.
i awoke with my heart pounding and i layed there for awhile trying to sort out my heart.
i was reminded about worry (and really, i'm not worried, but i'd be lying if i said i wasn't concerned) and what God has to say about that. look at the lilies of the field. look how beautiful they are. if God is going to make them so beautiful and care for them, won't he do so much more for you? (i'm paraphrasing here, so bear with me)
what about if your child has a rare genetic condition and his skin is riddled with blisters and sores and the skin just falls off? or if your child has had an accident and lies in a hospital bed unresponsive and on a respirator? what about those little lilies in the field?
it's so hard to wrap my simple little finite brain around the utter vastness of our Lord.
His ways are so not my ways. . . and i don't question His ways for a moment. i only struggle with my processing abilities.
in a world that seems more upside-down than right-side up, i tried to find a word picture that i could understand.
i thought of mosaic.
tiny pieces of something that was once whole, but now arranged into something new. . . and beautiful. and if i look at that one piece of broken something, i might spend too much time mourning what once was. . . over the beauty lost. the functionality of that something lost.
it's a reminder to focus on the bigger picture. on being repurposed. of new beauty out of brokenness. on the potter's hand who continues to mold and create.
as you can tell, i'm still processing the visions my Father has given me, and if it's nothing more than a reminder to look to Him for meaning, for purpose, for encouragement, for strength. . . then i think He has given me more than i could have hoped for at five am this morning.
because i awoke with a spirit of fear and worry, and he's given me a glimpse of His glory.