while my not me monday post may have been a humorous look at what it's like to have a teenager pulling away, a mother's heart still aches when she's rejected.
and i know it's perfectly normal. and it goes on throughout the growing up process.
no, mommy, me do it!
ahhhh, back in the days when my kids "used their words."
now it's just the monosyllabic answers, the bored tone of voice, the heavy sigh, the subtle eye roll, the quest to be alone.
i have to resist the urge not to text instead of talking face to face, although sometimes the conversations have more words that way.
but this is normal, i remind myself. just like going off to school for the first time, making their own snack, doing their own laundry, mapquesting their own directions for a road trip.
i want independence for my kids. i really do. i was just hoping we could preserve a loving relationship during the the process.
ah yes . . . this is very familiar to me . . . it should come as no surprise that this last year and a half of high school (and at LEAST a year or two after that!) have been affectionately referred to as "THE GORILLA YEARS." Let me explain . . . that glorious toddler has navigated through life and has now arrived at the stage where they must leave home. So . . . the dilemma . . . most have come through "the puberty years" where war and rejection of mom/dad seem to be the order of the day... with a (secret) realization that deep down they really like their parents... but don't dare let it be known. So, the only way to actually be able to separate and leave is to make things so crazy for everyone around them that "leaving" will be welcome! They become a GORILLA ... glaring, growling, staking out territory, intimidating anyone who comes near . . . that way the "parent" can be viewed as an agressor, an enemy. Thus . . . they can then blame US for everything and leave with ease! (NOTE: it takes a few years for this to sort itself out...they'll never apologize out loud . . . but their actions will sorta show that they've worked all this out and they really like you after all! TRUST ME ON THIS . . . I have had TWO GIRLS do this to me!!!
ReplyDeleteroberta : ))