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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

it matters

i am sitting here, late(ish) on a wednesday nite, after our youth group, and after a late dinner with the hubs.

i have no idea where this is going. .  .

or why i'm here late on a wednesday nite, other than i know tomorrow is going to be gone before i can get a hold of it. i just know that right now before tomorrow even begins. because my calendar tomorrow is full, full, full.

we're (and by we, i mean me. the hubster. the biz) in the middle of a merger and it's exciting and frightening all at the same time.

and it's causing some friction between me and the hubs.

the long work days, the pressure of new people in our business and just all the uncertainties with that have caused nerves to be jangled and emotions to be a bit raw, and things to be said that maybe we don't really mean.

or maybe we do.

sometimes it sucks bigtime to work with your spouse.

like big time.

is it wrong for me not to want to spend every waking moment talking work? like at breakfast (other than our morning devotions that are such an important beginning of my day, but one ended up in a performance evaluation, and that, frankly, sucked) or numerous times during the day on the phone, and then through dinner and into the evening?

i'm excited about the changes. and the fact that we get to continue to BE in business… really i am.

but as a wife, i'm also trying to guard my heart and not be overly excited. is that wrong?

is that not honoring or unsupportive or just all wet-blankety?

or am i just tired?

i don't know. really.

it's been a tough couple of days.

and i don't really know what this is all about other than it matters.

i'm not sure how and why, but it does.

that is all.

7 comments:

  1. I have always thought that would be a really hard thing to do, to be in business with one's spouse.

    I'll pray for you this morning.

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  2. Never getting to leave work would be mentally exhausting. Likely, for you both. Not sure how I'd structure that... maybe praying about determining "off-limit" times for work discussion? Which would be difficult to implement, of course. I suppose over time, you will both come up with a plan, or somehow fall into what works best.

    Growing a business, though better than downsizing one, must be intense work.

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  3. I was thinking on the way to work, with my hubs being unemployed as he has been, our conversations are really the same as yours. We're often talking about what he should do next, what he's wrestling with now, what's the next best move to use the gifts God has given him...since a lot of it's business or counseling stuff, I feel lost sometimes. He's been out of work since shortly after we married (I didn't put this in my decades post), and I'm sometimes amazed that we've weathered it...it has caused him so much pain.

    So, what I'm saying is, I think I get it, a bit.

    Make sense?

    I think it's why too, I've been writing a little more in my posts. Sometimes I just have to work to make sense of my little life 'cause I'm not good at helping him make sense of his.

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  4. you are an inspiring woman...I could not do it--work with a Husband

    I'm sure things will calm down once the merger is all settled! hang in there
    {hugs}

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  5. I don't know that I could work with my Hubs, either, and I feel like our marriage does better when we have some time apart...which must sound awful. I wish you the best of luck and hope things will get easier soon!!

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  6. i'll pray for you!

    i love that blogs are a great outlet to wonder some of this stuff out loud and share with others...

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  7. Brent works from home. It is wonderful to have him here but it took a while to adjust.

    Thanks for praying for Abby.

    RiggsFamilyBlog.com

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love me some comment love… thanks so much for taking the time to share your heart with me!