hi lo thursday

This post is part of "Hi/Lo Thursday" on the Riggs Family Blog. Check out their blog to read everyone else's "Hi/Lo" posts and get your link on their site.

so i guess i'll start with my low, which has been plaguing me for the past 17 years, but i've learned to live with it as it doesn't seem like anyone can really get to the bottom of it, but that is another post. seriously. my head aches constantly. some days are worse than others, but there is always a dull ache in my head, and some days the dull ache escalates to an icepick in the eye, and those are the days when it becomes a little harder to ignore. like today. it's one of those days, but i really don't have time to give in and rest. it's sort of like an annoying friend. he just hangs around, trying to get noticed. or somedays he's just so annoying, that he just has to be acknowledged. and some days, he's just standing there, screaming at the top of his lungs. i wish this friend would move away. 

and this is the other low, which actually is a high, but i'll explain as i'm still trying to work it out for myself.

yesterday was ash wednesday. all day long i was hearing the holy spirit tell me that my prideful self was really standing in the way of Him being closer to me. over and over, i was faced with that awful beast, pride. jealousy. a stubborn unwillingness to bend and submit.

it made my heart hurt. why, oh, why do i still struggle so much with how i get in the way of what He is trying to accomplish? and why do i still yearn for affirmation from others to make me feel like i am worthy? why do i bristle at being left out, not being asked, or being overlooked? why do i not celebrate others giftedness while wondering why aren't my gifts recognized? why oh, WHY am i so needy?? and why, oh WHY is He just not enough for my wounded heart??

only the cross can break the curse of my pride.

only the cross can break the curse of my sin.

i am in need of the grace and mercy of the cross. 

and the ashes on my forehead are the sign that i am in the sin business with everyone else.

create in me, o Lord, a steadfast heart.

yes, Lord. get my heart in order. 

so in the spirit of Lent, the idea of giving something up and putting something on. what do i cherish? replace this with the things of God.

change my heart.

renew my mind.

dead to sin. 

alive to Christ.

this is the mark. dead to sin. alive in CHRIST.

i will be justified.

by grace alone…

by faith alone…

in Christ alone.

there are ashes on my forehead.

there is hope in my heart. 

thank you Jesus for your grace and mercy.

first glimpse

growing up in wisconsin, a sure sign that spring was on the way was the first sighting of a robin. we used to get pretty pumped up about that, actually! 

here in the south, we get a steady diet of brown and crunchy during the winter months. no real cleansing snowfall (although this winter we actually had several snows, if you can call 1/4" of snow a "snow") to cover all of the world's imperfections, no crystal blue mornings with the blinding glare of sunshine on the new-fallen snow. here, it's more like tired mulch with leftover stubborn oak leaves—the kind that are pointy and stick into every nook and cranny. 

but all of a sudden, in the midst of gray and brown and dead bermuda grass, you'll catch a glimpse of spring.

oh, yes, the brave crocus!! how i love their sweet blossoms in the midst of tiny tendrils of green. what a welcome site in the still crisp air!

and look!! it won't be long until the crocus has some company! the reckless jonquil, or daffodil, will soon be sporting it's yellow bells, daring the mercury to fall (which it generally does, dangitall). my little dwarf irises will join you in the party, that's for sure.

much more cautious is the tulip. its little shoots are just barely peeking out. the daffodils will be laughing in the sunshine much before the tulip even thinks about joining in. why the daffodils will be well on their way to being gone by the time the tulip thinks of gracing us with its petals. but that's okay. we'll have less distractions and can concentrate all on you.

i'm sure the robin has been by to say hello. but i don't even notice him (sorry, robin) with so much activity around the feeder in the backyard. our chickadees are back, and i'm sure our bluebird family is readying the house for a new batch of younguns. and it won't be long till the chickadee house is rockin in the tree with all the activity inside.

our dogs don't wreak too much havoc in the garden. unless i'm trying to photograph it! if it's good enough to take a picture of it, well then, it's good enough to taste test. a quick shoo!! and bailey was off to chase squirrels, birds, leaves and anything else moving in the yard. what a hoot.

i'm so glad that winter's on its waning goodbye. and i'm so very thankful that my backyard isn't still buried under snow. i don't miss those wisconsin winters. not one bit.

wouldn't admit to in a thousand years!

there's a ton of stuff that i got accomplished this past week, and a bunch of stuff i didn't do. really, i didn't. just like mckmamma and a bunch of her friends didn't either. and they certainly would never admit to it. noooooope. not in a thousand years. you can check out what everybody didn't do here, and for my list of things i did not do and would not admit to under oath, read on.

after getting frustrated with a committee meeting member over copies that were supposed to get delivered to the school in time for a big pow-wow with the senior class and didn't, thus causing me serious stress and what my daughter described as me being unkind to the class (sweet, mom, she said, however, in true sr. daughter fashion, was overexaggerating. go figure), i did not have to delete two sentences expressing said frustration, thus giving her the benefit of the doubt. i did not have to swallow a couple of pieces of humble pie, either, when herreturn email expressed her frustration over having dropped off the 450 copies only to have them fall into the black hole known as the west mall office. grrrrr. (that could have gone terribly wrong, and i'm blessed that i have my savior busy saving my butt… yet again! thank you, Jesus!)

i did not coerce the hubster into splurging on a valentine mug from starbucks. he would never indulge me in that way, and would totally not cave in to buying two matching mugs. that would be way out of character for him! and i did not break out my camera and attempt to capture their cuteness. and i for sure did not think about setting up my way cool studio in a box to try out it's amazingness. that would make my coffee get cold, and i would already have failed into how i'm trying to keep my temple clean (see yesterday's post). so i didn't just plop it on my workspace and try to make it look just slightly cool. nope. that would be out of character for me!

i also most certainly did not take three minutes of my time to grab a red envelope and address it to the president, seal it and write this envelope represents one child who has died in an abortion. it is empty because that life was unable to offer anything to the world. responsibility begins with conception. and i most assuredly didn't add at least stop partial birth abortion… it's ludicrous to think that the mother's life could be at risk at that stage of her pregnancy… it's called a c-section, forgoodnesssake! no, i'm not passionate about that topic. and i didn't join thousands of people on facebook in this attempt to send a message to mr. obama. nooooo not me!

i did not seriously double take about a hundred times this week when i saw this chewed off gorilla paw and think there was puppy poop on the carpet. 

i also didn't pick up polyester fiberfill from said toy for the last two weeks and think about throwing away the toy because it's been man-handled, but then didn't because it brings bailey such joy.

and i didn't mourn the passing of a really cute toy that used to stick out it's red tongue (first to go) and pump it's fists in the air when you squeezed it. and i also didn't throw away the "puppy poop arm" because bailey just flat out loves that little piece of squeaky rubber stuff.

finally, i did not completely consider fabricating a huge list of fantastically funny stories to post here so i could be some kind of not-me-rockstar. that would be shameful and i didn't spend 10 minutes wracking my brains at all and then just end up settling on my not-so-rockstar things that i did not do this week. 

i did not go on priceline.com and save $85 dolllars on a $125 room in the sheraton read house in gorgeous downtown chattanooga. we did not have an amazing room that i would gladly have in my own home and didn't have the opportunity to hot tub it all night long (it was available 24/7) except that i did NOT leave my suit at home and elect to go to sleep instead. because that woule be lame.

aaaaaand while i was waiting for mckmamma to post, i didn't set my cell alarm to remind me to refresh! i mean whointheworld would do that?? and imagine, after not checking back every five minutes (i mean who would not have a life and do that??) and be shocked that there were already 62 people ahead of me. 

not me! not in a thousand years!

chatt-town

while our princess was at a retreat (ironically, a princess retreat with our high school juniors and seniors) the hubster and i hopped in our not-s0-sporty suburban and cruised down the road to spend some time with our prince, who is a freshman at UT chattanooga. 

took in a quick mocs game (UTC is known as the "mocs" in keeping with the indian heritage of the area, but in more politically correct times has morphed into the mockingbird persona…) at the arena, and then joined prince and his on-again/0ff-again GF, and her parents for a delicious post-game feast of pizza at the local mellow mushroom. i shouldn't get that excited about pizza, but forgoodnesssakes, that stuff is goooood.

got up early this morning and enjoyed a leisurely getting ready for church morning, capped off by a delicious hour at starbucks. met the prince and his three friends, and we all headed off to calvary church for a little one-on-one time with God.

awesome praise. awesome worship and AWESOME MESSAGE. john 2:13. grab it and hang out there for awhile. when i think about how they were defiling the temple and how angry Jesus got, it sorta hurts my heart that i don't have that same passion for the temple (ie my body) that Jesus does.

so in the spirit of cleaning up my act… i'm giving how i spend my time some serious consideration. and it's been a struggle for me in the last few months. is hanging out in other people's worlds my priority in life? or is hanging out with my SAVIOR?? he's been whispering "priorities" in my ear for awhile now.

so let's see about this temple cleaning.

and in the mean time, i better get cracking and get ready for my bible study with the girls!

giving away a freebie

no, not me. i really have nothing to offer in that area. actually, it's a new blogfriend of mine, over at pennylanedesigns. she's offering up a free blog makeover (and i would really like one of those!!) so i entered, and all three of you who actually read my blog should head over there, too, unless of course, you already have a cool looking blog!!

so, i'd blog more, but really, today i'm muddling through my day with a pretty vicious migraine. i should take some real medicine, but since the prescription is sitting here on my desk instead of at the pharmacy, i guess excedrine migraine will have to do.

i have lots going through my head (not anything new for me and my friend A.D.D.) and one of these days i'll take a moment to share. in the middle of ice picks in the left eye and the vice grip attached to my temples, i'm going to try to knock out a little bit more work and then go to sleep with an icepack. mmmmm now that sounds good!

life with a baby eaglet

This post is part of "Hi/Lo Thursday" on the Riggs Family Blog. Check out their blog to read everyone else's "Hi/Lo" posts and for a chance to win $100.

so yeah, life with a baby eaglet. i've called her that more than a few times these last few days, and i think it aptly sums up my child.

feedmefeedmefeedme. although she's not big on the momma bird/baby bird game (a thing we used to laugh about when they were little as we learned about how baby birds eat and no.way.in.the.world would they EVER eat like that. ick.), but she is big on being fed. what she wants, when she wants it, but not necessarily WITH us. hmmm. 

spreading her wings. this is the first step in flying and oh so important to do. this eaglet isn't interested in how, who is standing in the way, or who she mows over as she opens her wings. yeeouch!

flying. yeah. i know that flying is good for her. and she's got a nest she can still come home to. it's just a nest she has no interest in keeping clean or contributing to. hmmm.

(on a side note, i am rather disturbed at how googling "baby bird eating" netted me too many images of huge SPIDERS eating birds or just plain ole huge SPIDERS. too many to count. whatintheworld??) and i wouldn't post a picture of that. nope. not me. and i really mean NOT ME!

normal. yeah, she's normal. i get that. but sometimes i just wish my little baby eaglet wasn't so focused on leaving in six months and would just hunker down and enjoy life with the big eagles. would remember how much we love her (heck we sat on her for how many weeks waiting for her to come??), how we got up early to hunt her worms (or whatever small animal she desired)? 

now on a hi note, i'm pretty blessed that my eagle CAN fly. that she has the ability to soar to great heights. that she's not afraid to venture off to alabama and be all crimson when her momma and daddy are pretty much all orange. i love that she has a mind of her own, works so hard in school and overall is one amazing thing to watch. 

one of these days she'll come back to the nest. and i bet she'll want to play momma bird/baby bird. and i'm going to drop everything to play along.

nope, not this girl!!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

 
I cannot honestly believe that I am about to post this, but in the spirit of “not-me-ing” I am. So be forewarned. What you are about to read is. not. a. pretty. site. (you have been warned.)
 
It was really warm here last week as we got a sweet glimpse of warmer weather to come. So warm, in fact, that it would have been great to wear shorts. But since the shorts are in the attic, the cute capris in my closet would have to do. I did not forgo wearing fun shorter pants on a great spring-like day because my legs needed shaving… and have for a pretty long time. No, I would never let a little thing like unshaved legs get in the way of springtime wardrobe freedom! (at least not in public)
While in the backyard, I did not look down at my bare legs (hey remember, my PRIVATE backyard) thinking there was a spider or something crawling up my leg only to discover it was the BREEZE blowing through my aforementioned leg hair. Nooooooo, my leg hair isn’t so long that it BLOWS in the breeze!! That would be disgusting!
So, I would never bare my soul (or my legs for that matter) and tell the entire frikking internet (not like I have a readership like mckmamma or anything like that) that I took the whole “no shave November” to olympic proportions by a) starting early, and b) never quitting. Nooooope!! That would be… well… TMI, and I would never be that brave. 
And you can thank me now that there is not an accompanying photo to go along with the post.

lessons in the rain

it was unseasonably warm here last week. and i think i remember hearing that february is the second most volatile months for severe weather. well, we got the same system that produced the killer tornado in oklahoma. the winds were gusting to 60 mph, and the sky turned black. i am somewhat grateful to have my office in the "cave." i missed much of the weather drama that was unfolding upstairs.

i did make it upstairs toward the end of the storm to see brilliant sunshine streaming through the back windows. and it was still raining, which only means one thing: rainbow!

too bad it was still raining, it wasn't the best speciman, the view was obstructed and there were about a million power lines in the way. i love rainbows for the sheer amazingness of their ability to be. and it always reminds me of the covenant God made with noah.

i was amazed at how fast the sky went from scary black to brilliant blue.

am i the only one who is astounded that the blue sky is always there?

then the water sparkled like diamonds from the bare branches.

so even when the skies are dark and heavy with rain, the blue sky is always there. God is always there. He is always there. and as i think of some of my friends who are struggling with grief and sick children, it is so awesome to know that our God is always, ALWAYS there. even when it's raining.

i am thankful that the little storms in my life are just opportunities for God to be watering and nurturing my character. and they remind me to pray for my friends who are being battered. 

hearts

happy valentine's day!

it's a day that can bring a scowl, especially if you are single. or have lost someone dear to you through a breakup or even death…

it can be a really tough day!

besides being a day where i celebrate God's gift to me in my husband, it is also a day i remember and am thankful for how God has changed my heart. how he cleansed it (of course this is an everyday thing, really) and has made it new. 

i am thankful for my new heart, and also grieved over how it continues to beat for my desires, and not His. how i continue to wrestle the reigns from His hands and insist on driving this life instead of sliding over and letting Him drive. i mean, for real, He does know the way!

so it's a struggle, but i am so thankfu that He owns my heart. and He understands when i wrestle with Him.

thank you for my heart, Lord. and for my husband's sweet heart, and that my children's hearts belong to you, too. 

now ain't that a cause for rejoicing!! 

time just keeps ticking… into the future

This post is part of "Hi/Lo Thursday" on the Riggs Family Blog. Check out their blog to read everyone else's "Hi/Lo" posts and for a chance to win $100.

while you're over at the riggs, give a shout-out to God for bringing Abby and her family through this past week). so i've got a hi/lo, but also just a bunch of hodge-podgey stuff because that's just how it works in the land of A.D.D.  get used to it!

so yeah, back to hi/lo. 

my hi for the past week… hmmmm. it's not that my week was so terrible, it's just that there wasn't really anything earth shattering going on. do you ever have moments where you are in the middle of something and you think to yourself, i am soooo going to blog about this later. and then later happens and you're all like, ummmmmm, what? i have no idea. yeah, welcome to my world. OR, you come across a moment, and unlike some people i know, do not have a camera velcroed to my chest and so cannot capture the moment so i can a) blog about it later, or b) remember what the heck i was supposed to blog about later. HA! i dunno, but i hardly think i'm alone here!

oh yeah, my hi.

well, my sweet husband indulged my fledgeling photography skills by purchasing me a mini photo studio so i can take better food photos. we have a small business (a chain of quick-service tex-mexy/southwestern restaurants, and i do all the design work from my office at home… affectionately known as the "cave"). i'd post a photo of it, but i haven't unpacked it yet, and for the life of me, am wondering where in the world i will put said studio. i'm glad i excavated a work table in the garage earlier in the week when i was killing time while the plumber was here… which brings me to my

low for the week.

uh, m'aam, ah think we're gonna hafta cut a hole here in this wall to get to this here pahp (that's pipe in southern) out. yew gotta cast arn pahp that's just gotta taht (that's tight) trahup and ah cain't git mah snake in thar.

yikes. $250 dollars and three hours later, i have a new pahp plus a giant hole in my wall. well, actually it's a nice little chunk of paneling that now has swingability. but the good news is every time i do a load of laundry, i don't flood the basement. 

the other low is he said the washer would be ready to use in a day. dang. i was hoping for two weeks.

so i'm ready to post, but then i look back at the title for my blog. time… i don't know about you, but in my world (remember, it's ADD and OCD and PMS okay, just kidding about the PMS, but i was on a roll) time has a habit of slipping into the future. and i seriously got things to do, people!

like laundry. oh how i loooovvvveee (heavy sarcasm here, folks) working from home.

but the sweats and bunny slippers are a huge perk.

nope, not me! not a chance!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

i pretty much did not stay up till almost 2 am checking all the blogs i'm obsessed with. nope, i would never stay up so late and feel whiped out the next day because of my blog-friends. nooooo, you must have me confused with someone who has a life!!

and i most certainly did not blow off work to hang out with my daughter's friends on a snow day painting canvases for their new dorm rooms… oh, nosir, i would not do something that irresponsible!

and i didn't lose my cellphone for a day and show up for work because i missed the voicemail telling me that work was closed… no, i would never be that stupid!!

i did not laugh at teenagers who were completely cluesless about the mechanics of building a snow man. i pretty much didn't make fun of them for only having one glove among four pairs of hands… nope that would be cruel… and i didn't mock them for trying to shovel the bottom of the snowman 

 

and then point out that you have to rooooollllll the snowball to make it happen.

nope. i did certainly not stand watch while they struggled only to laugh. and i most certainly did nopt capture their ineptness on a camera. i wouldn't humiliate them that way! 

and i most definately did not point out that building the snowman before the snow got all icy would have been a much better idea. no, that would make me snow superior. and it's not their fault they live in the south while i had mucho exerienco living in wisconsin for 18 years!

an i did not laugh because their snowman was really just a giant snowball, and they gave up because they only had the one glove and the snow was just too icy, and well, isn't the batchelor coming on soon??

i did not gloat over the fact that my freshman basketball team was beating the fire out of the senior girls basketball team, of which my daughter is a part. nooooope. 

i most assuredly did not coach against her team, and i didn't tell my girls to triple team her because she can drain the threes. no, that would be so anti-familial. (if that is a word, and i soooo don't make up my own words, either) and i didn't have to swallow my pride and my gloating when in the last minute of the game my daughter sank two treys to finish us off by one point. no i did not choke on humble pie… not me!! you must have me confused with someone else who thinks blood is thicker than water!!

killing time one word at a time

one word
a fellow blogger posted this challenge to answering these questions in
only one word. for someone like me that likes to talk, this is quite the exercise! I'd love it if you play along. Just copy and paste on your blog and enjoy! Happy Thursday!!

1. Where is your cell phone? pocket
2. Your significant other? upstairs
3. Your hair? clean
4. Your mother? heaven
5. Your father? deceased
6. Your favorite thing? laughter
7. Your dream last night? tardy
8. Your favorite drink? fresca
9. Your dream/goal? legacy
10. What room you are in? office
11. Your hobby? reading
12. Your fear? accident
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? christening 
4. Where were you last night? basketball
16. Muffins? poppyseed
17. Wish list item? telefoto
18. Where you grew up? wisconsin
19. Last thing you did? coached
20. What are you wearing? khakis
21. Your TV? off
22. Your pets? dachshunds 
23. Friends? real
24. Your life? satisfying
25. Your mood? timid
26. Missing some one? nah
27. Car? chattanooga
28. Something you're not wearing? thong 
29. Your favorite store? target
30. Your favorite color? periwinkle
33. When is the last time you laughed? tonite
34. Last time you cried? yesterday
35. Who will blog about this? noone 
36. One place that I go to over and over? china
37. One person who emails me regularly? tammy
38.My favorite place to eat? TOT
39. Why you participated in this survey? procratination 
40. What are you doing tonight? working

it's not exactly the deepest musings, but hey, it's something on a day where i just wasn't feelin it.

25 things

well, after getting tagged about 25 times on facebook with this exercise, i felt like it was time. so i caved into peer pressure and did it. so i'm gonna post it here too. . .

not that anyone will actually see it. but oh well, it's here anyway!

1. i am seriously uncomfortable with this exercise
2. i really am not happy being cold. always cold. so living up north is not an option. ever.
3. i met/shared an elevator with paul schaffer (of david letterman fame) at the gramercy park hotel and was slightly grossed out at the amount of ear hair he had, and how short he is. but i was impressed by how attentive he was to his aunt and uncle.
4. i have a thing about paper. i love paper and collect it, but have a really hard time using it because i don’t want to “ruin” it.
5. i am a sufferer of scrapbookaphobia, with a side of whatever the fear of public speaking is called and throw in a dose of pee-in-pants aversion to spiders and all things crawly (except babies). 
6. i love to cook but am not so crazy about recipes.
7. i love to work with my hands…knitting, sewing, papercrafting (even better if it’s someone else’s paper! see #4)
8. i moved five times in seven years, which made middle school and high school a social nightmare. but then so did #9 and 10.
9. spent an entire summer of middle school in a body cast. lamest summer ever.
10. spent six months of my freshman year in a body cast. yes. at school. social suicide. my life was hell for a year.
11. took ballet and began to cheerlead simply to get movement and muscle tone in my left side after being temporarily paralyzed before #10. needless to say, the backbend was not one of my strong points.
12. developed a keen ability to laugh at myself (see # 8, 9, 10). then when people laugh, it feels like they’re laughing with you. 
13. terribly insecure about my design ability.
14. talk incessantly especially when i’m nervous.
15. would read all day if i could get away with it.
16. love movies. especially the art-house variety.
17. had a dog growing up which my parents ended up giving away for some lame reason like wanting to travel. not quite sure i’ve ever forgiven them for that lapse of judgement.
18. i adore football. college, pro. it’s all good. love the titans, colts, packers (hey i’m from wisconsin, it’s a rule) and have a soft spot for the dolphins. hate/detest the bears (hey i’m from wisconsin. it’s a rule), vikings, and patriots. dallas. . . umm not so much.
19. i love music and it pains me greatly to have to be an appreciator instead of someone who can just play.
20. i like opera. after listening to it blared out the rooftops of my home every saturday will do that to you. it makes me remember my parent.
21. the halleluia chorus to the messiah gives me cold chills and often makes me cry. my parents both loved, loved, loved the messiah.
22. would live in china if i could.
23. would adopt about 3 more kids if i could. financially, very unlikely.
24. love to write almost as much as i love to read.
25. am secretly afraid of colors. (huh, well, i guess that’s not a secret anymore!)

whitewash

imagine my surprise as i came upstairs from the cave (an affectionate name for my office, located in the basement of our home, which sadly, has no windows) and discoved it to be pouring. snow!

twice in two weeks!? it's unheard of!! snapped a few pics and OOPS! battery died. grrrr. off to charge.

 

spent a bit more time checking in on my blogfriends, which caused me to do a bit of a… well soulsearch sounds too dramatic… but it did cause me to pause and ponder. yeah. i like that. P&P. 

am i weird? is it because i work from home and have no real outside connections other than my friends who ahem, don't even know i exist? am i sort of some kind of blogstalker? is that creepy?

am i drawn to these personal interest stories to remind myself that my life is pretty dang good? that my kids are normal and that i should thank my lucky stars that all i have to complain about is an office with no windows, a dog that has RANK puppy gaseous emmissions, and a fledgling chick trying to spread her wings with no concern over who she smacks in the process? or is it because i'm being reminded that i am called to pray.

i like to think it is the latter. and i am praying for them. but it almost makes me afraid to check out a link on any of my "friends" sites in case i find another compelling story. 

i do, remember, have work to do.

so i'll avoid the temptation to go build a snowman outside (hopefully the kids will have better results than this attempt) and stay focused on what needs to get done, and be joyful over the falling whiteness. a reminder of how my precious savior has washed me… whiter than snow.