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Wednesday, January 6, 2010

breathe

there's alot swirling around our midst these days. changes, challenges and chills. sorry. not to obsess with the cold, but i think a full two-thirds of the country is chattering right now.
i have thoughts roaming around this expansive head of mine (not gonna call it cavernously empty, mind you…) some of it melancholy, some of it hopeful, some of it humorous, some of it just beige.
it's all swirling around and i can't seem to make heads or tails of it.

sort of like a revolving door. spinning and then something spits out of it.
like how quiet my house is right now.
and then i go back to how much work i have to do and why i'm trolling around on my dumb blog.
spinning and spinning…

why do i write? and what does it matter?

i'm worried about government health care…

spinning…

boy wonder is on his way home from skiing and i'm so thankful that he survived two ski trips with his knees intact. thank you sweet, merciful Jesus!

spinning…

thinking about people i've met in the land of blogs who are dealing with so much pain and lonliness and hurt…

and then people who are so creative it makes my retinas bleed and my brain swell. and turn a little green. (i ain't gonna lie)

so i'll just continue to revolve here in my cold little town in my warm little home snuggled up in my little slanket (it's not a snuggie, but a snuggie of sorts. only furry. and yummy. and not garishly blue).

hopefully my brain will stop spinning for a second and i can catch my breath.

addendum:
i like to think this is not me worrying… just my little unfocused brain and a desk that is full of stuff to do and a house full of christmas that needs to be put away and episodes of grey's anatomy to be watched (haha, i'm not serious about watcing, but they're there… calling…) and so much running around my head… i'm finding it a bit hard to focus. i can't put my finger on it. and then there was the moment in the car when i was talking to the hubster and it came around to our empty house, and i started to cry…
perhaps this is what is going on…
i don't know…
i just want to watch Elf and laugh at the part where buddy's playing in the revolving door like it's an amusement park ride…

7 comments:

  1. I feel ike this much of the time too - wishing I could stop this thing and get off for a bit!

    Wishing you peace in the New Year!

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  2. Oh yes, sometimes that spinning keeps me up at night. I worry about the health care too. My daughter doesn't have insurance, had hospital bills of $10,000. in '09 that we paid for yet every illegal person didn't have to pay. Doesn't seem right to me!

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  3. Exhale.

    Is it Matthew chapter six in which Jesus tells us to not worry?

    Perspective (which when I was Catholic was spun as guilt--that's meant to be funny, not an indictment) is something I whip out on myself all time. It usually works.

    Look at the birds, look at those with much less yet more on their plates, look at life and value it. I remember thinking, when my mom died, "The worst thing about life is that it goes on when we don't want it to. The best thing? It goes on when we don't want it to!" It's not deep, but it does get me through what He places in front of me.

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  4. Sounds like how I feel sometimes too!!!

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  5. Wait, why are you blogging about me???

    LOL! You are not alone. This spinning shiggedy---I feel the same way all the time. Hate it. Don't know how to get off the merry-go-round of life lately.

    But glad your son is back safely!!!

    Hold on tight, ok?

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  6. Whatever you do, don't stop writing! I so connect with your personality as you write, and I appreciate who you are all the time!

    Breathe... that's a good thing to focus on. I actually have to focus on the same thing, but it's so I don't pneumonia. :P

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  7. I always purge and declutter and clean when I get feeling like that. Nothing helps you calm down and focus like a clean , open home!!

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love me some comment love… thanks so much for taking the time to share your heart with me!