Visit my new blog

In case you haven't heard, I've moved my blog, but haven't figured out how to redirect yet. HTML code can kiss my a*s. Come visit me here:

Saturday, March 13, 2010

first things first

heading to the beach tomorrow. destin will probably not be much warmer than tennessee, but it doesn't matter. i cannot tell you how excited i am to be gettin' out of dodge for even five days. can. not. wait.
but first things first, after all.
there's a seriously good chance that i'll rescue my feet from the bondage of socks and shoes this next week. and the thought of exposing my pale ghosty feet to the florida sunshine with skanky winterfeet sent me right on over to the local beauty college for a celebratory end-of-winter pedicure.
i like to think of it as my public service to aspiring nail technicians. without patrons like me, these nail goddesses would languish in beauty school forever without an opportunity to log some hours acquiring skills.
plus, they're cheap.
so off i went, on a rain-drenched day, bundled up in my jeans and jacket, rockin' a pair of flip flops. nevermind that i was about to chip a tooth chattering from the damp chill. but hey, small price to pay for such worthy community service, right?
kalah (that would be like kayla, only the country version) bought me back to the pedicure station. i brought my own magazine, just in case. my feet are soaking, and then it was time to get to know my nail technician. i'm sorry, but i'm practically face to face with this girl. how can i just sit there and ignore her while i page through a magazine?
bringing the right magazine helps. i brought a southern living, which i had just received in the mail. i'm not really the subscribe-to-southern-living type of girl, but i got such a good deal on the subscription, i couldn't resist. if nothing else, the recipes are amazing.
but i digress.
southern living does not spark the kind of conversation that bringing a people or us weekly would inspire. (but it's a good thing i didn't bring a TIME or newsweek, or i would have been in some deep trouble) kalah, being pretty shy and super country (not that there's anything wrong with that) was not up for a discussion on current events (she had no clue about the toyota recall, so my prius joke fell flat) so i resorted to making conversation about more accessible topics.

me: wow, these photos of charleston are so pretty. we went there years ago to visit my husband's sister. where is the farthest away you've been? (i was seriously worried that the distance from her home to the salon was going to be her answer)
k: i've been to mexico twice.
me: wow. (i say that alot) and this sparked enough material to get me through the soak.
me: if money was no object, where would you like to travel to?
k: ummmm. hawaii, i think. yeah. that would be fun, right? (like she needs my permission or something)
me: ooooh. hawaii. i've always wanted to go there! we're hoping to do that for our 25th anniversary.
k: (blank stare) uhhhh. cool. (i could tell she was all like why waste a great place like hawaii on two old people, but whatever)
having scarred her dream of going to hawaii, the topic dropped like the towel under my feet into the basin of water
k: dang. i do that all the time. (wring) that's why i bring me a whole stack.
me: good thinking! (flipping through the magazine… now i'm in the state destination advertising section) have you ever been to memphis?
k: uhhhhh. i don't think so…
me: dude. 6 hours in a car, i think you'd remember going there. that's one heckuva long drive.
k: haha. yeah. ummm. no. never been. (pause, fish a drenched corner of the towel out of the basin) you know, i'm kinda scared to fly… about how long do you think it would take to drive to hawaii?
me: (now it's my turn for the awkward blank stare) ummmmm. i don't think you can drive there. it's pretty far out there. too far for a bridge… (seriously? did she just ask if you can drive to hawaii??) i pretty much think you have to fly or maybe you could take a cruise ship or something.
k: oh. yeah. right. (ponder)

thankfully, two other girls showed up to get pedicures and kalah was able to do just concentrate on the french pedicure. and a good thing, too. i think she used about a half of a bottle of polish remover cleaning up the errant white strokes. i'm pretty much thinking at this point i'll be lucky to get my pedicure finished before i leave for the beach.
would that my feet would look this good, or my pedicure, but i was happy to just get it finished!
i finally escaped, and for the most part, she did an okay job. i've done a better job on myself, but having someone else getting rid of the winter skank was worth it. and my toes are so far away from my face that from this vantage point, they look pretty dang good. and remember, the public service of helping a beauty school student get one more step closer to graduation is what it's really all about.
now only if the weather would turn so i could get these piggies outta prison. for good.


  1. Have a wonderful time. The beach sounds awesome. I get a pedicure about every six weeks. I think my toes are exposed about 300 days out of the year. I have the hardest time having conversations with the girls/guys! After so many years you would think that they would know more English!

  2. Have a great day at the beach, as I'm going too. A bit chillie down here in St. Petersburg, but that didn't stop me from an early morning walk and shelling.

    Nothing like a fresh pedicure for walking in the sand. It's a must.

    Hugs for a sunny beach today,
    Kate - The Garden Bell

  3. lol. Oh, this post had me in tears, poor child. Have FUNNNNN at the beach- lucky!!!

  4. Okay, must vent, one of my mean step-d-i-l's says "rockin'" when it comes to apparel, so your flip-flop mention gave me a shudder...sigh.

    Anyway, I'm spoiling myself with a deskankifying pedi over spring break. No sandals until that time comes!

    Oy, spell check is loving this comment!

    Hilarious post! Poor girl.

  5. Good chuckle. I need that this mornin'. Hahahah. Drive to Hawaii.


love me some comment love… thanks so much for taking the time to share your heart with me!