sensory overload

we had worship in a field last nite for our youthgroup. after several days in the 70s and 80s (i'm not gonna lie, even though it's super early for weather that warm in march, i was pretty much lovin' it!), the weather turned gray and blustery and rain clouds threatened to dampen our worship. but the weather held, and despite the dipping temps and the biting wind, we stood in a field in the shadow of a mountain, enjoyed the fading daylight and the look of the ominous clouds, and sang to our King. it was chilly, but it was awesome. 

all day long, though, i'd been chewing on my next few months, and felt the onset of a panic attack. it was then that i really began to pray about how the Lord would order my steps over the next 4-5 months, and i'm hoping that He makes Himself abundantly clear, because i am really struggling over what i'm supposed to do.

there are a few things that are a given. i am in charge of the senior class baccalaureate service. i have a capable committee, but i am still heading that up, and that takes up a bit of time, and all will culminate on mother's day. so that is something that must remain on the plate.

my daughter is graduating. i have promised to make announcements for a few of her friends. i have some ideas (i did my son's last year and a few of his friends) this i think i can simplify, but again, i need to do some designing and ordering. set a deadline. this will help. 

my niece is moving in with us in july. long story, but she needs a place to call home, and so i am moving my office upstairs into boy wonder's quarters. he's taken up residence in the den (another long story). i need to excavate his room and paint it and then move the office. (think hobby lobby jammed into a room) then it's on to creating a living space for a college girl.

and then there's ch*na. i'm helping to organize the trip. i have been asked to go. the hubster is even thinking of joining me, and so is daugher-unit. here is where the panic attacks are focused. stay? go? plan? raise support in an ugly economy? trust God? go forth? wait? let go?

oh, and then there's the job. lots to do and A.D.D. attacks. focus. creativity on demand. passion for the process.

too many questions. i could use an email from God. or some skywriting. or a good door slamming. i don't know. too many questions. not enough prozac.